V1olin's new life without wife

[Gardener]

yeah, that's the key to it all...and harder to do than it seems from the outside. one step at a time, sometimes one breath at a time...just keep moving.

Bingo. Amen. that'sferdamnsure.

[newmama]

Violin, I admit that right now, I look to you and others who have been divorced to kind of figure out the boundaries for dealing with my stbxh. Some of this is gleaned from reading and going "oh, that doesn't seem appropriate" OR "I get it." I was hoping to find a rule book but haven't yet.

So when you talk about contacting your exW due to being locked out, it did NOT strike me as unusual. I mean especially since it affected your kids. Now if you stayed the night at her house too....kind of weird...kind of crossing the boundaries.

You won't be alone forever. But I will validate you and say, yeah, these kind of situations (emergencies or mishaps) DEFINITELY magnify how much we used to be able to rely on our spouses to help us.

[v1olin]

Thanks everyone!

[v1olin]

Just working today. Might be going to meet a total stranger(female) sometime this week and the ex-girlfriend(short lived)is talking to me again. She says that I am in the "friend zone" now. We might go see a movie on thursday. I should be doing nothing but work for the next year but that would get boring! lol

[newmama]

Did you ever think you would be relieved to be in the "friend zone?" I mean are you? To me it sounds like "phew! no pressure!" And when we aren't looking or expecting anything, it seems like that's when we get "hit on!"

It will be good for your ego, too.. They tell us to be friends with the opposite sex during this time but not to get into a relationship either.

[NoLongerHere]

Just working today. Might be going to meet a total stranger(female) sometime this week and the ex-girlfriend(short lived)is talking to me again. She says that I am in the "friend zone" now. We might go see a movie on thursday. I should be doing nothing but work for the next year but that would get boring! lol

This will be good for you V1. Keep your head on straight.

[v1olin]

Yes, I have been there already with jumping into a relationship too fast. From this point on I will just tell women that I am not ready for anything serious.

My ExW seems to be going out of her way lately to thank me for various things. I gave her a coke the other night at my apartment and as she was about to drive away she yelled out the window of her car for me to come back. When I got back to the car she thanked me for the coke. I went to the house 2 nights ago to bring D8's shoes to her and I ended up putting D2 in bed and rubbing her back until she went to sleep. ExW thanked me before I left for everything. After I got back to my apartment she sent me a long text thanking me for bringing the shoes and putting D2 in bed. We talked a bit(text) and I told her she was "such a good Mommy to our girls" she then responded with, "And you are an awesome Daddy." I don't know if I have ever heard her say that before. I told her that was nice to hear and she said, "it's true." Looks like she is noticing some things.

[NoLongerHere]

That's good she's saying it, and good to hear too. That's actually pretty big.

[v1olin]

At work tonight when I got a random text from ExW,

"D8 just ate a whole burrito from Qudoba."


I wrote back, "OMG, I can't even do that sometimes!"



ExW, "That's what I told her."



Not sure what to make of it other than she is thinking of me and taking the time to text.

[v1olin]

Blah, poor GAL planning has me stuck in my apartment on a saturday night with nothing to do. TV is boring, the place is clean already, I planted my hanging tomato garden, and I can surf the net for only so long. Anyone out therin DB land want to chat? lol