See, this is why I think it is very important you start doing things on your own for you and your own life. You and your spend so much time together and it gives her lots of chances to observe you and nit pick.
If you had your own thing going on you wouldn't feel the strong need to have a R talk because it would not all feel so pressing.
You have so many expectations and for the most part they seem to be worlds away from where your W is at. Another good reason to get out there on your own.
You still have been unable to break the pattern you have with your W. Unless you really change you and your life it will remain.
