MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

Grrr....

H ignored my boundary and bullied himself into the house again to see D.

We had this conversation more then once before. I asked..."I don't mind if you come over to see D, but please call me and ask if it's convenient". He has always protested this and thinks that he can come here anytime he wants to. We even talked about it at the counselor's office. H told her that he thinks he has the right to come anytime, because he is paying for the house. Well in that case I'm paying for his apartment and I don't have any privileges to go there. The counselor even told him "It's her space now, you have to respect her privacy".

Today I'm talking to my D in her room and she takes a call on her cell. I just hear "You mean right now? I have some friends coming over now". She wasn't trilled. After she said "dad is on his way here". Couple of minutes later he rings and when I opened he said "I'm here to see D" and walks past me to her room. I was kind of peeved off because he didn't call me to ask, so I said "next time see her in your place"....The look he gave me was scary...full of anger or hate I thought. If I had more presence of mind I would have said "next time please call me before"...But I've said that many times and he just doesn't care...does what he wants....no respect for my wishes whatsoever.
He talked to D for about 10 min and then he left, slamming the door on his way out...didn't say bye....

Am I being unreasonable? I really didn't set any firm boundaries accept for this one and it seems to be the one that we can't agree on. Would it kill him to call me and ask "can I come over?" That's common courtesy, isn't it?

I have been thinking why is this important to me. I think because everything in my life was violated by his actions and the only sanctuary and safe place I have is my home. I feel that I'm in control here and he keeps trying to take that away from me as well.

I'm thinking of writing him an email about how I feel about this....