Scwred up and need advice

[CPCajun]

Are you sorry?
Have you really changed?
In 3 weeks?
I don't buy it, neither does she.
In fact I will tell you that she will probably test you, probably push your buttons even more just to see you react the way you used to so that this validates her perception of you.

Like I said before,
stop pursuing her,
no R talk,
focus on being a better you,
get yourself some personal counselling if you can,
be a good dad and let her be what she wants to be, let her do what she wants.

This will take a long time,
this isn't a 3 week or 3 month special,
this could take a very long time.

Yes I am sorry, this S has actually opened my eyes to what I have done. As for being completely changed in 3 weeks, no I didn't BS her with that nor will I do to you. I know this will take longer than this or 3 months, or hell, she may never want me back. It hurts but I have accepted that. As for the test, I know its going to happen. I hope she test the crap out of me.
i did start counseling, the first session was pretty much a go over some forms and a little about what I filled out on my forms. I have another session on the 5th next month.

I have been doing my 180s but Its just not working. I have never been real communicative with my wife, so as a 180 I have been tring to talk to her. I guees it is too much. Now she complains I am always "around" and she needs her space.

By "not working"....what part is not working? Oh, you mean it's not getting your W back? The 180's are not to get your W back, they are to improve yourself.

You are still living in the land of expectations. Just like wanting to impress your W's friend at lunch, hoping the friend would put in a good word for you. The key to all of this is to improve yourself without any expectations from your W. Can you be the best guy in town....and not expect even a second glance from your W? Until you reach that place, your work will all be in vain.

I have never been real communicative with my wife, so as a 180 I have been tring to talk to her. I guees it is too much. Now she complains I am always "around" and she needs her space.

But you are smothering her. That's not good. The time to have given her attention with conversation was "before" a S. I understand what you were trying to do, but in a case with the WAW, it will backfire in your face.

The 180's I was meaning, was being communicative to anyone even W. I tend to keep to myself and hold in all my feelings. I wasn't trying to impress her friend, but communicating with her and her friend was a step in the right direction to doing my 180. I thought communicating with her would help, as I have not done so before. I see it "is" smothering her. T have stopped and I do try go dark, but since I am S and living in our mom in law apartment, she comes in occasionally. I try to keep the conversations short, but she tends to try and keep it going. She also calls me with every now and then doing the same. I always keep it short and am first to say by and hang up. That's why this is so confusing to me.

Thanks Sandi