I remember when XH and I were in the process of splitting things up the visceral reaction I would have every time I went to get something I needed and it was gone. My XH really didn't take many things without telling me, but I remember how frustrating it was when I went to get something and it wasn't there. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! In my case my XH didn't do these things maliciously. It was just a combination of his juvenile MLC brain and miscommunication. Jody (DB coach) always told me that a generous spirit is attractive. When we were separating things I gave H things that he wanted. I was fortunate in that my H/XH wasn't greedy. For example, I gave him a framed art photograph of a place we visited on our honeymoon, the heating blanket and comforter from our bed that he wanted, and gave him little gifts for his new house: I started a couple ivy plants from our big sunroom ivy plants and bought him a smaller version of an art print of mine that he had always admired at a local annual art fair. I knew full well that every time he looked at those things he would remember the good times we shared and the home that we renovated together. My XH has lived in his new house for 1 year now and God and the universe has been teaching him some hard lessons. He is beginning to peek out of the fog a bit here and there.....and I know that all of the things I generously gave him are there reminding him of what we once shared.
This is an opportunity to put things into your H's living space that will remind him of you and the happy times you shared together. My generosity inspired his generosity and my H/XH has been generous in helping me with some chores around the house.
P.S. XH and I played ping pong together for 2 hours a couple weeks ago and went biking together for 2 hrs last saturday. I know that if I hadn't laid the foundation with these generous acts, we wouldn't be friendly now.
