W said "I want it to look presentable" and I replied "I want the home to look presentable for the 26tth as well but I also hope the improvements to our home extend beyond the 26th"
You are pressuring her. This is pursuing. Not attractive.
In addition to pursuing, it comes across as critical. What she's doing isn't good enough; there has to be more. Success is clearly defined as "keep it up past the 26th", so why should she even bother with this because the effort itself gets no credit,
If your wife feels you have a history of controlling, I'll lay odds that regardless of what you said, the above is exactly what she heard.
