The saga continues

[TimeHeals]

should had just held it in

You shouldn't have to hold it in; you need to get to the point where you understand that you are going to be OK with or without her, and only she can decide whether or not she is going to re-commit to this M.

Now, if you have had enough and want to bail, then that's another story, but if you are going to try to save your M, you have to understand that you cannot force somebody to make only choices you like.