There came a point where W asked where I wanted the towel rack in the bathroom and I replied "Where ever you think it looks best" W got upset because earlier I said I did not like the towel rack where it currently was.
Well, she has a point here. You obviously do care, and if she had said let's put it back where it was and you don't want it, you'd be asking us what that meant.
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W asked "What do you mean?" and I replied "DO you plan on leaving?" W said "I can't answer that right now"
Oh ye of little patience. You had to ask....
You have a misunderstanding, and it's all the way back to... "are you going to leave"?
Do you want her to stay, or are you now trying to drive her away?
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W said "I want it to look presentable" and I replied "I want the home to look presentable for the 26tth as well but I also hope the improvements to our home extend beyond the 26th"
You are pressuring her. This is pursuing. Not attractive. BTW, I think the 26th is a full moon eclipse (if she's into astrology).
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I then said to W "The other day you made a comment to me '
More pressure.
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W replied "I do it to see if you really changed.
She did it to see if you were going to try to pressure her.
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When someone loves and cares for another person it does not matter how they communicate
This is not true.
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and all you do is want to govern what I say. You always controlled what I say and how I say it and I want to see if you changed."
She wants to see if your changes--you are not being driven by fear to try and force her into a commitment--are real.
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W said "You think that is we worked on our marriage together that everything will be great and it won't, you also think that it is all going to workout someday"
You've been tested (and tested and tested). You failed.
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Where to go from here and how bad did I just make things.
You undid weeks of minor progress. I don't know how bad it's going to get. You cannot pressure somebody into doing something. It's not going to work, so stop trying to do that.
It's one thing to be assertive, but trying to force somebody to say or think something NEVER works.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
