Scwred up and need advice

[CPCajun]

you didn't mess up, relax, its your equipment, you're allowed to do what you want with it and you need to stop being so afraid of your wife's reaction, she knows this and keeps pulling that controlling card every time.

"Look wife (insert wife's name here), I'm done trying to make this work because it obviously isn't working. I would have preferred that we worked things out and got the marriage back on track but I'm tired of being accused of being controlling and everything else that you accuse me of and most of all I'm tired of wanting someone who doesn't want me. Go out, be with whoever you want, I won't stop you as I'm moving on with my own life now. I've finally decided that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and I don't want to wait for you anymore, I get it, you don't want to be with me anymore and truthfully I don't want that anymore either, trying, trying and trying hasn't gotten me anywhere and I'm not going to be some schmuck that waits for years for his wife to wake up and love him again. FYI I'm going to petition for joint custody because I'm not going to settle for becoming a weekend dad, and I'm not moving out of my house, we'll just sell it when we divorce and split as part of the marital assets, when you decide to file for divorce give me a shout and I'll get my lawyer ready and we'll do this as amicably as possible so that we can both move on with our lives."

Kissing her a$$ and trying to be too super nice to her is fake and it's pissing her off, be normal, be regular, get your life in gear, get a life, be a great father to your kids and let your wife go. You're holding on too hard and it will never work that way, detach, let her go and move on with your life.

That was part of our marriage problem, I was controlling. I was so tight with the finances, I probably could of made a diamond out of a dollar. I have now learned to let go of this.

I am not afraid of my W reaction or am kissing her a$$, though I wish I actually was. LOL It was a minor subconscious set back on my part. I did not see it as snooping or controlling, but from her point I can. This is a 180 I must work on.


On a side note...


Yesterday we all went out and ate icecream for fathers day.I know I wasn't supposed to talk about R, but she kind of brought it up. I made it clear, I have been controlling, abusive, etc. I am changing my self as I see now that this is bad behavior. I am doing it for myself and if you come to accept it and take me back, then it is your decision to make.


oh, Thanks for the speech Robx, but I dont think I am at this phase yet. When it gets down to the point of no return beleive me, I will detach and move on. I will not play dirty but I will fight with all I(and my lawyer) has.