he felt squeezed like he can't please anybody, this is the worst part about it you try to please everybody and you can't then you are miserable
so he decides to hurt me? my theory is that he's still trying to win his parents approval by getting me out of his life. they said after 4 yrs of marriage, they questioned his judgement in marrying me. so now he's doing whatever he can to win back their approval by taking as much as he can from our marriage and getting rid of me. they have made him feel stupid by not serving me with a pre-nup before we got married.
i feel like a scapegoat.
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that's why boundaries are so important- his behavior is what bothers you not him as a person. he sees your hurt as a validation that he is bad, unlovable, broken ..... he takes things personally
i love him as a person but the way he's handled all of this is disappointing. it's almost embarrassing. during our m, i worked hard to prevent him from making a fool out of himself.
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I joined the military and moved halfway across the country to get away. I understand the paradox. I also know what is healthy for me now.
so did h. and they still have him wrapped around his finger.
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That's the worst part, he doesn't think he is important so he struggles to make you feel important. The shame makes you not want to let people see inside of you. He might be shielding your from his parents.
i've never betrayed his trust. i've seen the inner person in him. i know things about him that he has been afraid to talk about. things i found out accidentally on my own. i tried to be gentle and non-judgemental. i told him that it was okay and that i loved him anyway. his fears will always be safe with me .. regardless of how ruthless, vindictive, petty, and spiteful our battle is. i have to be true to myself.
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I am offering this to you to help you have some compassion and empathy for your H.
it helps a bit. but i have to admit that i lose sight from time to time. i still try to piece together things from the last six months and so much of what has come out of his mouth, he denies he ever said. he doesn't remember saying certain things. and it makes you wonder what is really going on and why this is happening. he said i was frugal on spending and that i never asked for any expensive gifts. yet, he turns around and calls me money hungry. he'd say that his mom exaggerates her statements most of the time and he never knows when she's telling the truth or not. but he'll believe her when she says that i was threatening to her. he had eyes and ears.
why do i hear so many contradictory statements? what is the truth? i don't why he feels the need to get away from me. why am i suddenly so revolting? because i've decided to protect myself?
my heart is sitting at the bottom of my stomach.
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How was the sushi?
sushi was good. i tried to be feminine and didn't pig out too much. the company was fun.
