Question

[awest1217]

H finally responded to my text about his mail. He said he would pick it up tomorrow. I said where do you want me to leave it, and he never responded. I sent him another text saying I know I am bothering him, but I am just he needs this piece of mail, and S and i will be gone all day tomorrow. I said I would leave it on teh front porch. He finally responded that I wasn't bothering him and that he was just going to text me how he was thinking about me and "i love you". (typical).

I sent him a text back taht he should check the front porch occasionally because I will just leave his mail for him there. He said so we aren't talking anymore and i let him know that he is the one who has been ignoring me and not contacting me so I am just continuing what he already did.

Just now I sent him a text that I am tired of doing this dance of him contacting me, we hang out then he ignores me for weeks to just start again and during the ignoring, he is seen with OW by my family and friends and I get the cell bill showing thousands of texts and minutes used by him in network (the whole reason we switched cell phones was OW had this network and he wouldn't go over minutes anymore) when I know he wasn't communicating with me. I told him how I am upset that our S sees him as a hero, but he only sees H once a month. I said that I love him too much and it hurts too much, brings too much distrust and resentment for this to continue so he needs to only contact me if he has a question about S or wants to see S, but seeing S would mean talking further because since he rarely sees S and because of his habits, I am not going to have him pop in and out on S. I said unless he is ready to completely commit to me we will keep all conversation strictly about S.

Right now I am very sad because I feel like we are done. I am ok with that is some ways, but in others it hurts and i am scared because I don't know what the future holds and most importantly I don't want S to be messed up because of this. I don't want to lose S because H left me and I stood up to him. Oh well....life will go on...it always does...