wow, all I can say is wow. Been getting bad news on the business front, delays delays delays. Been gone for a week to come back to a pretty good reception form her, always a great one from the kids.
Kids left to camp and she went with them to spend a week up at her folks. This morning looking for a pen and paper upstairs and in one of her file cabinets found a notebook with a diary of the last 6 weeks. Not good at all.
Here are the highlights of my "bad behavior". This is what was said about me, everything else was her semi-complaining of her miserable predictable life. Such as "woke the kids again" or "as always" and "Made lunch for S12 again"
Went to Derby Party and she stayed home with kids. 5/4 I offered a full body massage, she said no, but would get "me off", I said, Ive been waiting a long time for that, snotty. CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR, when she was nice to me all eveneing.
Mother's Day there was nothing written down. (nothing said about my gift or the boys)
5/11Came to bed to find the boys in it, and I lost it, S9 asks for me to come to, but I said "not in my bed", I calmed down and came in and slept.
5/14 (anniversary) was awful for her, Went to big city, for play and night alone, all DBurt's doing. everything was good, the play, the dinner, drinks after, but then dburt started kissing me (awful) I told DBurt did he want sex, and he said great. During the middle of it, he says, where's my D%ck B896tch!, I said nothing whole thing lasted 2 minutes. He is trying to reconnect with me and this is what he does? I am just a warm hole for his fantasies"
5-22 went home to speak with parents
5-24 met with attorney, i feel better, S12 asks Dburt a ligitimate question about steam but he rolls his eyes at him, D12 asks why Dburt does this.
5-25 Dburt gave dog a noodle, and she started to play with it, Dburt says, I wish someone would play with my noodle, I guess someone will eventually start to play with it.
5-29 Made a wise crack about my hormones being out of balance, as if something is wrong with me.
5-31 Decided to j(ck him off, it was awful.
6-4 Dave comes in drunk and is obnoxious to my friend. MOre "evil comments" about my hormones.
6-9 Dave at football meeting tonight till 10 pm, probably at his parents.
6-18 DBurt home from LA, really makes me happy that he is home, vomit. Made me feel stupid when I said it was weird for DBurt's partner showed him a naked pic of his girlfriend. Monisat comment about something under his breath, probably about hormones, he thinks I am premenopausal.
So, absolutely nothing good that i have done in that at all, all bad.
I think this is probably it, probably should more back to newcomer because that is how I feel.
I have really tried, to piece, I guess you cannot piece when she is not ready to piece, although I did not know how far gone she is.
So, I texted her last night that i missed her and was thinking of her and hurry home, of course no response.
No, Learn to control my frustrations re: the sexual nature? The intercourse saying was me trying to be more aggressive and it did not work at all. The noodle comment was just me trying to be funny.
No more little comments, keep my tongue in check, and since she is grossed out about the whole thing, no more pursuing.
wow, all I can say is wow. Been getting bad news on the business front, delays delays delays. Been gone for a week to come back to a pretty good reception form her, always a great one from the kids.
Kids left to camp and she went with them to spend a week up at her folks. This morning looking for a pen and paper upstairs and in one of her file cabinets found a notebook with a diary of the last 6 weeks. Not good at all.
Here are the highlights of my "bad behavior". This is what was said about me, everything else was her semi-complaining of her miserable predictable life. Such as "woke the kids again" or "as always" and "Made lunch for S12 again"
Went to Derby Party and she stayed home with kids. 5/4 I offered a full body massage, she said no, but would get "me off", I said, Ive been waiting a long time for that, snotty. CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR, when she was nice to me all eveneing.
Mother's Day there was nothing written down. (nothing said about my gift or the boys)
5/11Came to bed to find the boys in it, and I lost it, S9 asks for me to come to, but I said "not in my bed", I calmed down and came in and slept.
5/14 (anniversary) was awful for her, Went to big city, for play and night alone, all DBurt's doing. everything was good, the play, the dinner, drinks after, but then dburt started kissing me (awful) I told DBurt did he want sex, and he said great. During the middle of it, he says, where's my D%ck B896tch!, I said nothing whole thing lasted 2 minutes. He is trying to reconnect with me and this is what he does? I am just a warm hole for his fantasies"
5-22 went home to speak with parents
5-24 met with attorney, i feel better, S12 asks Dburt a ligitimate question about steam but he rolls his eyes at him, D12 asks why Dburt does this.
5-25 Dburt gave dog a noodle, and she started to play with it, Dburt says, I wish someone would play with my noodle, I guess someone will eventually start to play with it.
5-29 Made a wise crack about my hormones being out of balance, as if something is wrong with me.
5-31 Decided to j(ck him off, it was awful.
6-4 Dave comes in drunk and is obnoxious to my friend. MOre "evil comments" about my hormones.
6-9 Dave at football meeting tonight till 10 pm, probably at his parents.
6-18 DBurt home from LA, really makes me happy that he is home, vomit. Made me feel stupid when I said it was weird for DBurt's partner showed him a naked pic of his girlfriend. Monisat comment about something under his breath, probably about hormones, he thinks I am premenopausal.
So, absolutely nothing good that i have done in that at all, all bad.
I think this is probably it, probably should more back to newcomer because that is how I feel.
I have really tried, to piece, I guess you cannot piece when she is not ready to piece, although I did not know how far gone she is.
So, I texted her last night that i missed her and was thinking of her and hurry home, of course no response.
No contact to her for a while?
Dburt
A similar attitude to OfficerInNeed's wife as well as some of the others.
No, Learn to control my frustrations re: the sexual nature? The intercourse saying was me trying to be more aggressive and it did not work at all. The noodle comment was just me trying to be funny.
No more little comments, keep my tongue in check, and since she is grossed out about the whole thing, no more pursuing.
Agree with this? ANything else?
Burt
What about drinking with her and see if that will open her up? What about horny goat weed or another known aphrodisiac?
Are there movies or things that she likes to do that get her in the mood?
MWD's SSM book teaches lower-drive spouses the "right way" to reject their higher-drive mates for sex.
I'm pretty sure that wasn't it.
At some point, some empathy FROM YOUR WIFE needs to kick in here, Burt. Just saying "no" isn't enough; at least it shouldn't be.
Puppy
Agree on the empathy, from one of my other forums a member said "3 times a month is far too low for a couple that professes to be sexual". Of course I wholeheartedly agreed with it, and currently have been on a 6 month streak of no intercourse and no sexual natured activites. Before this we had gotten to one time a month, and outside the short sex sessions there was no physical intimacy or talk of it.
Good holiday weekend, played a lot of golf, went to the pool afterwards to see wife and kids. Spoke with friends. Wife urged me to enter a splash contast on the diving boards, so I did. Good time.
Started to massage on the wife in bed last night, and asked if she wanted to fool around, she said no thanks, I said you don't want to help me out any? She said she would and she grabbed her toy and after she was done "helped me out". Very weird, very adamant about not going "all the way".
This morning it was as if she felt guilty about what happened last night. Could be mind reading because she said nothing was wrong>
Piecing is hard.
Burt
Using her toy on her may be a start in getting back inside. If it were me, in my current situation I would be happy to use a toy on my current wife. I guess I would focus on the visual aspect of it, and her pleasure.
Of course after some sessions I'd ask if I could do it with my pants off.
What about a warm oil massage while she uses her toy on herself?
