V1olin's new life without wife

[v1olin]

Performance is not my thing! I tried with classical guitar but the nerves got the best of me. I make violins, cello, and viola though. It has been hard rebuilding my career outside of my in-home workshop.

Father's day started off good but ended on a sour note. I packed the kids, food, sunscreen, and towels all up and went to the lake. We rented a paddle boat and that was a lot of fun. It was very hot and I had sweat dripping off of me when we returned the boat. We visited the nature center, hunted for frogs, and said Hi to a bunch of different dogs. Got to be about 3pm and I called it a day. Drove 20 miles all the way back to my apartment and discovered that my keys were gone! My car key is separate from my other keys because it is broken so atleast I could drive.


Turns out sunday is the one day of the week that I could not get let into my apartment by the management...because they are not there. It was hot and my daughters were very tired. I only had one option for the sake of my kids, call the EX. I called her and she picked up the kids. I slept on a friends couch last night. It is not the end of the world but it was a terrible reminder of how much I am on my own. I am too broke to afford a lock smith and I am too isolated to have my kids and I stay at a relatives house. Money is my main problem, once again. I had to tell ex that I could not afford a locksmith. How humiliating. Maybe I am too proud?

[ImprovedRomeo]

First off kudos on taking the kids out even in the hot weather. You know these are the things they'll remember forever. My best memories are from when we did stuff out of the ordinary whether it was an extra hot day or an extra cold day or an extra bright day etc. As for the keys well that kinda stuff happens V1, don't beat yourself up over it. I had a similar episode recently where I checked in my carry-on luggage and then I realized I left all my house+keys etc in there. If that bag got lost I'd be screwed as my car was at the airport parking and the garage door opener's keypad stopped working too. Thankfully my luggage arrived safe and sound and the keys were in the inside pocket where I left them. whew! but lesson learned for next time.

I hear you on the realization part that you're on your own but weren't you on your own before meeting your ex? and you did just fine. You're your own whole individual who came into this world whole and alone and will leave this world the same way. So just chalk it up to lesson learned and move on.

Did you find the keys though? no spares? XW doesn't have one either? if no then just call the locksmith, throw it on your CC and work on paying it off by eating at home a few extra meals. There are some things you just have to do...

[v1olin]

I have spares in the apartment. I just had to wait until today to get let in by management. Everything is fine now. My CC's are both close to maxing out and I already cannot afford the monthly payments. Working on the job thing and trying to make it work but the market for violins and violin work here is not good.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Re: finances/work, what about odd jobs or moonlighting for a bit? any other hobbies or interests?

[v1olin]

Odd jobs... I am getting to that point again. I just need a break.

[lees]

Don't worry about it v1. You did the right thing. Got your kids safe and sound tucked up in bed. No-one will do anything but respect you for doing that at the cost of maybe a little of your own pride. The most important thing is that you and your kids had a fab father's day.

Can you leave a set of spares with a neighbour for the future?

[hoosiermama]

amen, v1. your kids--well, at least the older one for sure--will have great fun memories of the day with their dad! none of the rest really matters.

[v1olin]

Thanks for the nice words ladies!


I always put my kids first but it just gets under my skin that I can't fully get away from my ExW. I want to just move away to another city and start over again. There is no way I could do that to my kids though. I need to do a better job at GAL and make new friends.

[hoosiermama]

yeah, that's the key to it all...and harder to do than it seems from the outside. one step at a time, sometimes one breath at a time...just keep moving.

[Daybreak]

V1olin:

I get your point entirely but as it is in my sitch and others here, XW (or STBEX or whatever flavor you wish to attach to it) will always be part of the picture - actually deserve to be part of the picture for the sake of the kids. I still haven't found that line of demarcation and maybe it will never appear. But I have accepted that a long time ago and my kids continue to grow. I hope yours continue to grow as well...