I am very confused as to how to continue moving forward at this point. W filed 2 weeks ago and people I know who have been through a divorce, and also my attorney, told me to “protect” myself financially. Since then I have opened my own checking account where my paychecks will be deposited going forward. I got my own credit card and advised her to do the same, which she did, so I canceled or removed her from all other credit cards. She seemed surprised that I was moving so quickly and she told me today that she is worried about how finances will be managed because she won’t have my check book and doesn’t know how she is going to get groceries when she needs to. I told her we will have to figure it out. Am I being too harsh? She said she wouldn’t run-up the credit cards, and I believe her, but………

We always got along very well. Never had fights or even arguments really. Maybe that was the biggest part of the problem….she rarely expressed herself or her feelings. I was a relentless pursuer for the last 5 months and I guess that is what finally drove her to file. I am trying to use the Last Resort Technique now, but she is still so friendly I am not sure how to respond. She is still doing my laundry, cooking dinners, etc. I have started to do more with the kids and am planning outings without her, trying to GAL and improve myself, but is engaging her in conversation (or her me actually) the right thing to do when using LRT? She went out on Sat and Sat nite and then started to tell me all about it on Sunday. How much she ate, how unhealthy the food was, burgers, burritos, lots of beer. Said she probably gained 5lbs, which would actually be good for her. This morning when I left, I told her I was going to remove her from my Discover account and she said ok. Then asked me if I was leaving and when I said yes, she said good-bye. I didn’t say anything and just walked out the door. Probably not the right thing to do?

Anyway, is just cutting off pursuit and giving space good enough, or do I have to stay away from her too? We continue to have fun when we are together, but perhaps that is just my impression and she is just acting. I’m having a hard time figuring out how to blend all these techniques together and figure out what to do next.

Someone advised reading Coach’s old posts, but I am having a hard time finding them. I want so badly for us to work this out, but she said she is not changing her mind! She seems pretty intent on this path.

Right now my gust says to continue to be around and friendly with her, but do not pursue ILY’s, romance, intimacy, etc.

I will reread postings above, but any additional advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Maybe I need to call a DB coach.