Just found out she already filed

[NoLongerHere]

agree - looks good, and you're getting good feedback

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks guys. Alice, you're the best

[ImprovedRomeo]

So went to DD's graduation party at her school. STBXW brought DD over a few mins after I got there. I didn't really pay any attention to STBXW, I was just moving around taking pics of DD and her friends. They looked so cute in their gowns and caps

Then we went into her classroom to sit down, I noticed STBXW was already sitting down. She turned around and looked at me as I was still taking pics. Then she turned away before we caught eachother's eyes. So I walked over and sat down next to her leaving one chair open in between us. They were way too close together and I didn't want to catch her cooties

Other moms started talking to her about her job etc and I felt a bit left out for those few moments but then I started talking to the dad (whom I told last time we were splitting up) about the soccer game and the basketball game. STBXW tried to join into the conversation too. Anyways, the ceremony was so cute with their slide shows etc it was emotional for me. DD's been going there since she was just 2 I still remember the first day and now she was graduating from kindergarden.

Later both DD and STBXW walked over to me, I gave DD a few hugs. She wanted cake so STBXW and DD went over to get it. Then I noticed STBXW from 20 feet away trying to ask me if I wanted any. I shook my head to say no. I noticed a few kids had brought flowers for the teachers and I felt like we should've too. I told STBXW. Later I regretted it because she probably took that as criticism on her as if I were saying she should've brough flowers. Anyway, a few mins later she said 'I'm gonna get going so DD won't...you know...start crying. Don't forget to pick up her stuff from the cubby'. I said 'OK thanks'. She left and DD and I hung out for a bit. Then as I was gather up the stuff I realized her folder/portfolio was missing and I knew STBXW took it. So I called her and asked she said yeah she took it, nice!! so I immediately said 'well...I was going to take it along with the other stuff and the father's day card DD made is in it' - she said 'I can bring it back, I just wanted to see it'. I said 'OK' and hung up.

Anyway, I'm going to take DD out today to find her a Webkinz toy (thanks BBJ for the idea!!!) and Sun there's a bbq/picnic planned.

[whatisis]

Sounds like a nice night, Romeo! But have you noticed that you watch every word and action of STBX like a hawk and then I'll bet that, even when you don't report it here, you're analyzing your ass off..."What did that mean" "maybe I should have said or shouldn't have said..." etc. The less you do of that the better off you'll be! I hope the rest of your weekend with DD is great. I'm off to pick up my Dad to go to a baseball game, hopefully we won't get rained out.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Got this from STBX- we communicate so little that I compell to post all our interactions here:


Here is DD's camp info. Please see the link in the attached email for camp info, directions, etc. You'll be picking her up on Wed-Thu and she needs her hat every day. So if you could please bring it in to school and leave it in her cubby that would be great.

I'm still waiting to hear back from you on her school for the fall as well as when we can schedule a time to sort out the furniture, etc.

I hope you had a nice Father's Day with DD this weekend!

My response:


Yeah I have it on my calendar but thanks for the reminder and the info. So to clarify you'll drop her off at XYZ that whole week at 1:30pm and I'll pick her up Jul 14th-15th from XYZ at 7:30PM.

Are you still taking half day that week and staying with her? As you know it's a mountain lion area and it's summer so I'm just a little concerned about who will be watching her.

I don't have her pink hat last time I asked her about it she said it was in your car.

I'll send you a response about the other stuff separately.

We had a good time this weekend, thanks.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hmm, where did that come from? her response:

I can see if I can switch a Friday half day to that week but its not easy since someone has to cover for me. I'm not back office anymore so I can't really come and go as I please.

I think you can find a hat for her at target or walmart if she needs one for your house.

Sorry about the folder, I didn't realize you had put stuff in it and I wanted to look at it. I have it and will leave it in her cubby on Wed.

About her school, the sooner we solve this the better. Now the lawyers and court is involved and that is costing money that I could use to pay her tuition at [private school]. And I can't believe that all of a sudden you are ok with sending her to the school you deemed patently unacceptable last September. They have had further budget cuts since then and Ms. xyz said that DD is the top student in her class. So, to make her attend public school that was unacceptable last year and probably more so this year just to get back at me for getting support is unfair to DD. But you do what you think is right.

[ImprovedRomeo]

She is right that I didn't want DD to go to a public school but that was when we could afford a private school. That's no longer the case. Maybe she can but I can't.

As for her saying it's unfair to DD...[breathe, breathe R] because holy sh!t, who is she to talk about fairness??! is it fair to rob a child of a family for your own selfish purposes? Grrr. I could say so much to her about it but will it make a difference?!! no and as I said wii's thread it's the kids that suffer from all these consequences. She's trying to make me feel guilty and to be honest it's working a bit because of course I'd rather send her to a private school than a public one but I can't and I don't want to do it for a year and have her switch in a year or so. I'd rather her at least go somewhere she won't have to switch schools again.

As for getting back at her about the support? Nah...I think karma will take care of it. It always does.

[ImprovedRomeo]

My draft response:

Not sure what you mean about Fri, I was asking if you'll be there that whole week since you said you were going to volunteer and be with her the entire time? please clarify.

Yes I know I can get hats at target and walmart, thanks.

I didn't put the card in the folder, they did that themselves. It's fine.

About the schools...I'm fully aware of the lawyers and courts and the money it will cost on both sides- money that was DD's college funds. As for me getting back at you about the support? no, I won't stoop to that level I figure karma will take care of it, it always does. I've never had and never will take actions that will hurt DD. About the unfairness part, that's laughable coming from you. As I said before I'll respond to the school issue later today.

[alice444]

My draft response:

Not sure what you mean about Fri, I was asking if you'll be there that whole week since you said you were going to volunteer and be with her the entire time? please clarify.

Yes I know I can get hats at target and walmart, thanks.

I didn't put the card in the folder, they did that themselves. It's fine.

About the schools...I'm fully aware of the lawyers and courts and the money it will cost on both sides- money that was DD's college funds. As for me getting back at you about the support? no, I won't stoop to that level I figure karma will take care of it, it always does. I've never had and never will take actions that will hurt DD. About the unfairness part, that's laughable coming from you. As I said before I'll respond to the school issue later today.

R on BB so brief: cut out "money that was supposed to be..." To "laughable" part. I. Know you want to say it, it's all true, but do not say that to her. Look unless you live in Watts she'll be fine; my sister and I both went to CA public school all our lives then to stanford ( and yes I know how to spell even, just hard on BB on a treadmill!). Send other email to her re school, do not reply to any guilt baiting, "bad dad" implications. You're the adult here w/ integity. Go show it now (((R)))

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took your advice...I sent her a quick response:


Not sure what you mean about Fri, I was asking if you'll be there that whole week since you said you were going to volunteer and be with her the entire time? please clarify.

I didn't put the card in the folder they did that themselves. It's fine, I know you didn't take the card intentionally.

About the schools...I'm fully aware of the lawyers and courts and the money it will cost on both sides. As I said before I'll respond to the school issue shortly.

Then I sent her the other email about the schools.