Newbie.Trying with faith and hope to save marriage

[papayachic]

Journaling.
I am still in anger mode and am just taking it day by day and taking care of me and unborn child.

So Tuesday I had DB coaching session. I was actually going to cancel but since I already paid for the sessions, I called. What the hell, right? DB coach told me to call and thank him for being concerned of me driving in the rain on Saturday. Didn't want to do it, but the fact that I paid $390 for coaching sessions made me feel like I needed to ...ha.

So Tuesday afternoon I called him and said "Hey H. I heard the voicemail you left me last night about Saturday. I appreciate your concern but I'm ok. He asked how I was and I said Good. WEll, I don;t want to keep you from whatever you're doing. Again, thanks for the concern. Have a great day"...and then hung up.


Then Wednesday morning I check my bank acct,(I do this every day out of habit) and noticed that H's unemployment hit my bank acct instead or his unemployment card. IT IS LIKE I JUST KEEP ON GETTING PUNISHED. That night I called him and told him what happened, that I western union'ed the money up to him and gave him the reference number. He apologized for loud music but that's all he does now at nights is listen to music (like I care !!!!). Then he stayed quiet and said. "Ummmmmm....Cousin's G's girlfriend is a lawyer and she knows a mediator up in Albany if you want to got that route." I said, Well H, I told you to file. If you want to got that route, then go for it. I will get my own L. He said mediator would work for both of us. I then replied, Well get me more info about this. It's late and I need to sleep. Have a good night.
(Next convo he brings up about divorce, I will AGAIN make it clear that I will not pay for filing and will also tell him I will not pay for mediator. I just realized he just wants it to be less expensive for him but honestly we have NOTHING joint and nothing to mediate. All he has to do is file separation agreement).

He called me 10 minutes later and said thanked me for being quick with the money. I said you're welcome and then he said ok W, get a good night's rest. I know you need all the sleep you can get.

Thursday night he calls me at 11pm and leaves no message. Then he called again at 12:30am(Friday morning). Left me this message:
"Hey. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wanted to be the first one to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Hope you had a beautiful day. Remember, it's your day. Have a great day. Hope to speak to you soon."


Friday was my birthday and I had a great time.:)

He left me another message Friday at 9:30pm.
"Hey. I called you last night. I don;t know if you saw that...well I'm sure you must have. I guess call me back if you want. Alright bye". He sounded a little annoyed. WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO FEEL ANNOYED?!?!


Saturday morning, I called him and told him I received his messages. He said ok. I said I appreciate the birthday wishes. He said ok. I said, ok well thanks you again. Bye.




Yesterday was Father's Day and my dad sang me a song in front of the whole family. He is already the best grandfather in the world to my niece and I know he will also be to my baby!


That's my last few days in a nutshell. Taking it day by day and slowly transitioning myself to becoming a successful single parent.