WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Friday was a very interesting day – we had a DR appt for our D15 that we both attended. It went well but end result was ADHD medication for her. W is very protective of any med’s for the kids, but we had both previously already agreed that it was worth a try to see if her participation in school would go up to at least par. That same afternoon, W told me that since I had never forwarded the therapist information to her (that I found here, pro- marriage) that she would just go back through our HMO and find another. I told her that I wanted to discuss that with her later (to say that he’s a couple’s therapist and would not be appropriate as an IC for her). Also I stated I wanted to talk her later about something else as well, her reply was “why, what else have I done wrong?”. I told her nothing at all and that it was really a positive thing not anything to bring her down at all.

That early evening she was very quiet and had a couple of run ins with our D19 and D15 – they are really picking up on the fact that she is in a bad mood all the time here lately and that she’s treating me and them somewhat poorly or at least quite short with everyone – this is a 180 for her! I mentioned to the oldest that it’s funny how things change – not inferring anything, but they do know I am the one in a good mood all the time – 180 and GAL there, and the kids do see it.

W ended up in bedroom laying on bed early pm – I knew she was feeling very down, the Dr appt, the run in with kids, no therapist info and also that I had something to tell her. I went up and told her I was heading out to the store and if she wanted anything, asked her if she was ok – nope and I’m fine – ok off to the store. When I returned an hour or so later she was still up there, again very 180 for her. I went up and asked her again, she said nothing wrong, I knew quite differently though and started rubbing her back a bit. Eventually I turned her over and put my arms around her and gave her a big hug on the bed – I told her that she needed a hug and that she needed one all day – she hugged me back quite hard and turned the waterworks on. She started in on the Med’s for our daughter and I reassured her that we would take all the right steps and make sure everything worked out for the best for our daughter.

She then wanted to know what I wanted to talk to her about, I said I really wanted her to be in more of an “up” mood – she said “how could it get any worse”. So I went ahead and explained my thoughts on the boatload of cash I just put in her account. I carefully explained that it was about how much I cared for her as a person, as much as my wife, that with everything going on with her and us, that there may be some significant opportunities that she may not have thought through yet. The biggest and most important thing is that there’s enough cash for her to quit her job, enroll back in college full time, volunteer at the kids school and achieve her life long dream and passion of becoming a teacher. I also told her that no matter what happened between us, for better or for worse (nice vow tie in I must say) that an opportunity like this would not happen again for her for a very very long time (divorce = financial ruin and “found money” doesn’t pop up very often!) I told her that I would not ask or inquire about the money again, that I trusted her with my life, our kids lives and everything WE have and this money was just another thing WE have. Went into some control talk earlier and how I am letting go of it as well – this was just another step in that quest. Gave her a short kiss on the lips which she did as well (8 weeks since one of those) and told her I was heading down for ice cream –end of conversation!

She came downstairs later to work on her bike trip on Saturday and was in a much better mood until bed for sure.

Off to bed!