Hopefully a new beginning

[Mila]

Kissak - You must have been a proud mama today Congrats to your D

[kissak]

Thank you Mila....I am very proud. My daughter has fought her own obstacles the last few years and has found ways to cope. I just love both my kids to death!

[kissak]

Hi all! Back from a busy weekend! Went great! Saturday we had my daughters bday party....lots of teenage girls showed up. Took 8 of them home with me! I must have been crazy!! Drama drama drama with that many different personalities in one house!! haha, but they all had fun in the end I hope! Lots of memories to take with them as they grow up!

Sunday, me and the kids went to a family reunion (H had to work) Enjoyed it. Went looking for a new vehicle after that. Mine has been giving me problems for a while now. It's 8 years old and paid for....thank goodnes, but not very dependable anymore. So....thinking about trading it in.

Just heard this morning of the passing of one of my classmates....very sad, he commited suicide last night. His wife and him had just gotten back together after a separation. They were starting to have problems again I hear....sad to hear about. He had 3 young kids....pray for them all

[kissak]

Just asking all my friends here for prayers for a little guy here in our area....he had what seemed like a minor bike accident a couple of weeks ago...and now is struggling for his life...just say a prayer for him and his family.

Thanks

[Mila]

Hi Kissak, just stopping by to say Hi...looks like things with your H are progressing as they should

So tragic about the little boy, my heart goes out to him and his family....I will pray for them and hope that he will pull through.

That's terrible about you classmate...so so sad....I feel for the family.

(((hugs)))

[kissak]

Thanks Mila...so much saddness going on around me lately...Thanks for the prayers for the little guy

I think that maybe I did a good thing today Something that my H was NOT expecting. We have both been wanting new vehicles. He needs one worse than me, but mine is the "family" vehicle. The one we use when going places together. Mine is not that old really, just a 2002. I bought it brand new. Well, its been giving me problems lately...so I talked to my H about really wanting to trade it. He also wanted to do the same with his. So, the past couple of weeks we have both been looking.

After thinking about it the last couple of days...I thought that paying off a few debts would be better to do for me instead of making a new car payment every month for yearsssss! It may take me a year, but my car really isnt in that bad of shape. If something else breaks, well, I'll just fix it....

so, I texted my H today and told him that I thought he should go checking into getting that truck he wanted today. That I wanted him to get a new one first. He wanted to know why I was thinking that way now?? Well, I explained to him about the debts and he needing one first. I think he was in shock that I was putting his needs before my wants lol He told me he wanted me to have one too, that he was working hard for the both of us. AND true, he is working one full time job, plus 4 part times.....its amazing that we see each other every night! Well, after all of this he sends me a text that says "love you". Now, I dont get those very often, but it did make me feel good. He still wont put "I" in front of it which I dont get, but Ill take it! lol I guess the "I" will come in time.

Plus, a little part of me, and I do mean a very small part, is trying to be safe, cuz if he decided to leave me ever again, I DO NOT want to be stuck with a car payment!!!! lol

[faithisbelieving]

Please don't deny your feelings though about the lack of a card. You say you know how he is about stuff but if a card is something that is important to you now is the time to let him know the importance. You have your love language and if it isn't being nurtured resentment will come to call. You are in a rebuilding phase and honesty about your needs is so very important.

TOTALLY agree. Healthy relationships acknowledge life's milestones. Why would you enable this if it bothers you or not say anything for ignoring your anniversary if you are, on paper, trying to 'piece'?

FIB

[kissak]

He didnt really Ignore our anniversary. Just the circumstances of the day of and before kept him from getting a card for me. I know he wanted to, but didnt. Really it doesnt bother me as much as you may think. As long as he acknowledged it I was happy. I think it was just last year, that he did get me a card and we werent even together then...

I did get 2 "I" love yous last night. May just be the fact that he is finally getting a NEW vehicle after years of driving his clunker! lol Will see if he keeps saying it. Im hoping so. I keep seeing more and more of my old H everyday. Just a "better old" husband than before.

Leaving for our first family vacation next week...well first one together in 4 years. Im really looking forward to it!!!

[MHL]

I keep seeing more and more of my old H everyday. Just a "better old" husband than before.

Leaving for our first family vacation next week...well first one together in 4 years. Im really looking forward to it!!!

Funny, how we want the good parts of our "old spouses" back but hope that somehow the bad parts or the parts we don't care for are not present anymore.

I find myself saying the same thing in my sitch "I see my old wife again" but I stop and think to myself, I don't want to go back to the old marriage. Hopefully, both of you have gone through enough pain and heartache and growth so as to avoid the same mistakes as before.

Sounds like you guys are on the right track. Have a great vacation.

[kissak]

Thank you I definitely dont want to go back to the "old marriage" I try to remind myself that everyday when I catch MYSELF showing old habits. Its hard work for sure.