I understand, and she DOES need to get her own plan, but I think this is another opportunity missed. You should have told her the reason was that "I have decided that I'm no longer willing to pay for something you're using to conduct your affair."
That's the kicker, she still denys that it's anything more then a friendship. I'm not sure what she is trying to hide anymore, we are headed to D. We live in a "no fault" state so nothing would come back to bite her.
Not sure why she won't admit????
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
It's the first time I've cried in awhile tonight. I got home and my W was taking our son to a dinner with her family and stepfather. As I was walking in they were headed out. I gave my son a hug and kiss and they left.
I came in and thought I would have had at least a card from my son. I didn't expect anything from W. It broke my heart to see nothing. I don't know why I got so emotional but it really hurt.
Went through the EXACT same thing myself yesterday ! I deliberately made sure I took our kids out shopping for a Mothers Day gift ( locket that can hold pictures ) and several cards from them to give to my WAW. In return yesterday I got ZILCH. I mean, I got to spend the day with my kids,sure. And my daughter gave me something she made in class. But the WAW didnt do a damn thing to even have them get me a card. I know about not having expectations or anything, but I was hoping she would have made at least somewhat of the same effort.
That's the kicker, she still denys that it's anything more then a friendship. I'm not sure what she is trying to hide anymore, we are headed to D. We live in a "no fault" state so nothing would come back to bite her.
Not sure why she won't admit????
Bolded by me. Almost certainly a level of guilt. When they're in the FOG, they dont want to own ANYTHING having to do with their own actions. Her not admitting to anything has nothing to do with the pending D, it has to do with rationalization in her own mind and avoiding as much responsibility as possible for her actions. She is NOT in a place to be willing to even entertain the idea that she has done anything wrong, and even if she was, it would be put on you as " driving her to it "
Dealing with the exact same thing with my WAW. It sucks but you just have to suck it up, work on doing everything you possibly can to save things ( if thats what you want) and wait for her "confession" or apology at some point in the future. But she's going to need to want to give you that apology, and the only one that can decide when and if that happens is HER.
I certainly hate to see that anyone else is going through the same process, but it's nice to hear some words of encouragement.
I'm working on purchasing our home and then she can leave free and clear. I think us being apart will do us some good not only for us but for our son. I sense he can feel the tension in the home. Her moving out will certainly give her a taste of the outside world, good or bad.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I certainly hate to see that anyone else is going through the same process, but it's nice to hear some words of encouragement.
I'm working on purchasing our home and then she can leave free and clear. I think us being apart will do us some good not only for us but for our son. I sense he can feel the tension in the home. Her moving out will certainly give her a taste of the outside world, good or bad.
Not sure where in Del your located, but Im right above you in the Peoples Socialist Republic of NJ. ( Southern Bloc). Cant make any promises as to my schedule or anything, but if you wanna try and get together for a beer or something at some point...................
That's the kicker, she still denys that it's anything more then a friendship. I'm not sure what she is trying to hide anymore, we are headed to D. We live in a "no fault" state so nothing would come back to bite her.
Not sure why she won't admit????
I'm not entirely sure of the rationale and dynamics behind it, but it is VERY much "script" in affairs.
Simple guilt perhaps? Part of the "normalization" process they go thru? Moral compartmentalization? Something else??
Geez, if it's truly their "Life's soul-mate," they should be shouting it from the rooftops . . . right?
Well the cell phone plan has officially been moved over. She is already in a panic about the cost. It feels good now that I can't snoop and see how often they talk.
I've really taken all the advice I've gotten and I'm going to put it into full steam ahead!!!!
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
