looking for their acceptance and approval, their love is conditional - if you loved me then you would do this for me.
this is so sad. to have parents who love you conditionally and make you win their approval.
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The real reason is because he can't reject someone else. He knows how much that hurts and can't bear the thought of hurting someone else's feelings. He doesn't want to be responsible for their hurt.
why was it okay to hurt me? if he can't bear the thought of hurting someone else's feelings, why did he hurt me in so many ways? why did he give me a blank stare when i told him flat out that his words hurt me?
here's another question. i won't be intimate with him if i don't feel that emotional connection or if he hurts me with his words. is that like putting conditions on my love?
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I am not excusing his behavior and I understand how it makes you feel. I just am trying to help you see things from his perspective. His parents have wounded him deeply, deep down he feels unlovable and is very angry at them.
that is sad. it baffled me as to why he would want to be with them despite all of those things they've done to him. and it just hurts to see him this way.
i've never made him choose between me and his parents. but had he chose to side with me .. i would have worked hard to repair his relationship with his parents. if he loved me, i would love him and love what is important to him. i just needed to know that i was important to him. i never felt important to him so i didn't love what he loved (ie. his parents).
despite the hurt he's doled out, i am still capable of loving him. i love myself but i really gotta learn how to go to bed earlier.
