And here I am .... H's MLC ....

[PEI]

Pei,

So this thing that you are feeling, this level of detatchment, is exactly where you should be.

I know it feels wierd, scary, and a bit uncomfortable right now.

That feeling won't last as you recognize this for what it really is, which is a part of the process.

You know, I think that what really kinda scared me was my level of comfort with it. That really surprised me.

This DOES NOT mean that you are done, that you don't love your H, that you don't want your M.

It give you the opportunity to really look at things, from a different perspective and make decisions that are not as based on emotions, fear, what if's.

This is so true. That M is over. And I have an opportunity now to make sure that any R I get involved in from this day forward is a healthy compliment to my self-improved independance - as opposed to a fear based co-dependant parent/child kinda thing. Could that be with H? Not now. Maybe in the future, but since I don't have a crystal ball I'm not going to get hung up on that anymore. I really like the open door and hallway analogy ... I really feel like this is a long hallway, and I've left the door at the end partially open. I'm walking down the hallway, away from the door ... the door is still open a bit, and should he ever try to come back through it, he'll have a ways to go to catch up to me - if he can. Not sure if I explained that well or not, but oh well!

It is really you becoming an independent person once again. Which is really how we should remain, even when we are in relationships.

Something that happens when we get married, united, is we end up becoming two people, with one agenda. Instead of two people with individual agendas and one common goal.

I heard someone the other day (or maybe I read it??) say that too often married partners refer to themselves as 'we' which is one entity, instead of a 'team' which is individuals with common goals.

So don't be afraid of this.

Keep doing what you have been doing.

Thanks Cat ... I really appreciate it.

Peace
PEI