Well, Piano, I have to say that "being the better option" at least stalled my D. I mean stbxh (Sorry but I HAVE to call him that to get it through my head!) has admitted he has been uncertain this whole time. Of course he is still divorcing me but my goal was to make him want to come back to me, so at least he is uncertain about being with OW vs me, which means I had some impact, right?
So my point in telling you this is that it is certainly worth a try if you WANT to go for it. After all, there are other women on this board who used this method and it worked.
You have already exposed and gone NC...didn't help your sitch so we are supposed to do what works, right?
Something that has prevented me from being angry (even though I WANTED to be angry) is that I thought of how stbxh was going through some kind of surreal mental crisis. Will this help you do you think?
Thanks for this NM. Yes, do what works, not what feels right. I believe you really made your husband think twice. I think he will alwasy doubt what he is doing - hopefully enough to wake up and come back to you before too long! I've never tried 'being the better option' so it seems the time has come for me to give this a go.
I haven't mentioned this yet but I have managed to stall the divorce a bit... Today my WH changed his status with the local government unemployment agency from Separated to us being back together as a married couple. This is for my o/seas citizenship application, which could take anywhere from 3-12months to come through.
