Tell the kids together, but make sure your position is clear to kids. She must own every step of this process. When my wife left in Nov '09, she was in big hurry to get divorce but wanted me to make it easy for her even split the costs. I refused. Fast forward to now, no divorce and now she makes idle threats to try and get me to sign unofficial divorce that she sent me back in march, that she had an attorney fax to me and hadn't been filed with the courts. My attorney told me it was bogus and treat it as if I never received it.
You need to slow this train down. Right now divorce is the only answer she sees. That might change as time moves forward. She wants this you don't. If she insists, just make her do all the work.
