I DO know what a large part her history of sexual abuse plays in her head. Every mc we have ever talked with has suggested she work on it and she has refused. A few months ago when I came to grips with what would probably happen, I basically said to hell with apoligizing for loving her or making love to her, and told her so after a very fun night started by her, then a call the following day to chew me out, and I've stayed with that theme. No more ass kissing from me, unless it's a clear screw up on my part.
She recently admitted that SHE had a problem with men and was getting counseling for it. That's a positive.
This weekend our youngest D had her 1st baby and we both were there. The conversation came up about how different these will be when the D is final. SHE THEN OFFERED TO CALL OFF THE D, BUT WAS NOT READY FOR ME TO MOVE BACK IN (it's only 175 miles away). I let her know that really considering what we were doing was wise, but no way should we call off the D right now.
Ok folks-Plan A for me right now is a D. Plan B is getting back together. WTH now? At this point I see zero changes from her that tell me I would not come home again at some point to find all her stuff and her gone again.
So all you plan A folks who got slipped over to plan B like this...what helped you to reconsider? I am VERY hesitant to take another chance. I seriously doubt she has learned anything and won't learn the lessons for HER unless she's got a D and been on the other side of it long enough to see all the negatives. So????????????????????????
Those who have been through this, give me some insight. Remember, last time this happened I heard how I had talked HER back into the M. That damn sure is not going to be the program this time. Ideas?
