I really think this alleged affair needs to be out in the open as soon as possible. She needs to understand why I was so "short" in my texts today and a "hard-#ss"
You're going by your FEELING, CD. "I'm anxious about this, and so I need to resolve this, now!" That's not wise.
You need to go by your BRAIN and your CHARACTER during this trial, not by your FEELINGS and your EMOTIONS.
Patience. Plan. Be wise, and shrewd, and even a little wily.
I really think this alleged affair needs to be out in the open as soon as possible. She needs to understand why I was so "short" in my texts today and a "hard-#ss"
You're going by your FEELING, CD. "I'm anxious about this, and so I need to resolve this, now!" That's not wise.
You need to go by your BRAIN and your CHARACTER during this trial, not by your FEELINGS and your EMOTIONS.
Patience. Plan. Be wise, and shrewd, and even a little wily.
Puppy
CD, Buy stock in what Puppy says. I mean, I was doing the best I could, with Coach's help, to get you through until Puppy got to NJ and checked in with his laptop . Seriously, he knows what he's talking about. You won't go wrong. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Thanks. I have an update. I managed to keep myself in check and after D's bath she came down for a smoke. She had "friendly chatter" about new trees on the golf course, etc. Oh, and a 'Happy Father's day, BTW" (But oddly, no card from my daughter?)
After a minute or so of silence, I asked "So what was Amanda's big surprise Saturday?" Instantly, without a second, and without the slightest hint of guilt (as in guilty), a sweet smile I haven't seen in years was on her face and she said "We went to West Edmonton mall. It was really sweet" And that was that.
Now I'm still going to check the luggage for a nightie or the sex stuff but I've got a nagging feeling I could have misread all this. How could 99% of everything point to "nothing"?
Thanks, PDT. I'm glad I held off on the confrontation.
I asked "So what was Amanda's big surprise Saturday?" Instantly, without a second, and without the slightest hint of guilt (as in guilty), a sweet smile I haven't seen in years was on her face and she said "We went to West Edmonton mall. It was really sweet" And that was that.
Do you really think she would do what you suspect she did without having a cover story ready?
Oh, I expected a story. But I also expected her to give it away in mannerism or physiology. She'd have to be an incredible actor to turn that response on and off that quickly.
I was just surprised by the naturalness of the response. And that is what gives me the willies. The story without the physical response REEKS of affair. But the response makes me think INNOCENT (unless I can prove guilty)
I was just surprised by the naturalness of the response.
My H is very good at natural responses. He's worked through it in his head so many times to come up with something that sounds natural that it does (which is what I'm assuming your W did). And he's been very good at making me feel guilty for questioning him by answering my questions with his own questions designed to lay blame on me for feeling the way I do. Now I do my best to realize this and call him on it when I see it happening. It ticks him off because he knows I'm not letting him skirt the real isssues and make me feel guilty for feeling as I do.
Just remember burden of proof of innocence is really on her at this point, and you are justified for feeling the way you do because of her secretive actions. She'd love it if YOU felt guilty. It puts her more in control over the sitch.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
Haven't got anything on the hotel in Edmonton. hard to when you don"t have a last name. Though I did learn that no one by the name Amanda registerd at the Mall hotel on Sat night.
But the luggage was clean. Bathing suit, normal clothes, etc. no lube, etc. She did unload it first and put it inher room overnight and took it to the bathroom when she showered (but her toiletries where in there, too). After the shower she just put it in D's room. Yas, I know, suspicious but no smoking gun. I could read this either way. But it's one more penny on the guilty side of the scale.
Gonna say there is something in the truck (where did the stuff go from Friday?)But hard to look when she's home and she can't leave home without it.
Keep digging I guess. the suspicion is consuming me and I'm not feeling particularly great about it. Spying makes me feel dirty. too. But I can't pretend everything is ducky,either. Stuck
. Seriously, he knows what he's talking about. You won't go wrong.