I've DB'd my a** off and spent countless days and $$ on phone coaching, individual therapy, relationship books, etc. I thought I was making progress personally, whatever the outcome. Now that we're just a couple of days away from the actual D, I am OUT OF CONTROL. Everything is making me cry. One minute I think I'm feeling truly content and grateful for all of my blessings, and then the next minute I want to move to a cave in Tibet and tell everyone IRL to FO. All I can say is that this sucks.
I still can't believe that Mr. A made this choice for both of us. I mean, I really can't wrap my mind around it. WFT?!?!
I identify with your unbearable pain, frustration over the futility of all the effort you expended and your "FO, World!" attitude.
You are not crazy. You are human. You are normal. You are good.
You have been misled and discarded by the one person in this world who would/should NEVER have done such a thing. Something you wouldn't have done in a million years.
It is the worst of pains. It is trauma. It is unbearable.
And you will survive it. And heal. And thrive.
Keep working on you. Stay here with us. We will help.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
