My game has changed from WAW to EA/PA HELP!!

[CD Bear]

I stand corrected. I walked into the kitchen to get a Pepsi and presented "matter of factly" (like a display) were the Alberta Divorce Kit (still sealed in celophane) and some other do-it-yourself sSeparation Agreement book by a lawyer (also uncracked though not in wrapping).

Presented like a "so ther". I bet if I ask for the receipt she picked them up this afternoon (after our text chat last night) These have not been bouncing around in a truck more than 24 hours nor looked at.

I'm tempted to say "OK, you fill in your part and I'll review it"

Any other ideas or stick with Confirm and Bust the Affair first?

[Allen A]

Find a good family therapist and start going on YOUR OWN... YOU walk the bridge first to set an example and show her its worth while.. she is NOT going to go if you don't LEAD by example...

You don't talk about MWD, find a good Family therapist.. I assume you are in Ontario?

You can print up articles about family therapy, the harm that divorce does to children, ALL the research you want HER to do, YOU collect it, and scatter it in your home in your work areas...

Do NOT push for divorce... you tell her its THE LAST OPTION you will accept ...

You tell her she can cheat and destroy her family but you are NOT going to follow suit, you tell her you made a commitment and you are KEEPING IT... DESPITE her childish behaviour...

Proving an affair?

You confront her. She will deny it... YOu ask her to show you her phone.. if she says NO, that's it, tha'ts all you need.. you ACT as IF she is and as if you KNOW... don't try to argue or negotiate her into ADMITTING she's cheating, she won't do it most likley... do NOT get into a debate about it...

You tell her you know. .. If she says she isn't.. you ask for the phone... right THERE... If she give syou ANY excuse you tell her OK, tha'ts all I needed to know.. and you show her the DOOR

Tell her you will NOT have your daughter around destructive behaviuor.. you show your wife the door and you and your daughter turn her away... that's it... do NOT get into a debate trying to PROOVE she's cheating.. it's POINTLESS

You get ready to expose if you haven't yet... have you contacted anyone?

Get a signature put together with a list of everyone you have exposed to... and their response

[CD Bear]

Thanks, AA.
Family therapy would be nice but no extra funds available.
I'm in Calgary, Alberta so if there is a list of DB type therapists I'd appreciate it.

Your action suggestions seem a little "counter" to the things I've been offered over the last two days. I went a little "hard #ss" on her request about transferring Calla.

I appreciate the recommendations on the affair confrontation. I hope to get that in tonight. I still have to "suggest" the home time for Calla tonight. (just did-When can I expect you so Calla can sleep normal hours?)

If she avoids discussion (bathing and quickly to bed) what do I do? Go through her luggage?

I need this out. Just tell her I need to talk to her before bed?

[CD Bear]

Just got her response.
"I'll be back when we're done"
She'll be in bed at normal Calla time"

I'm sending-
Where? To be disturbed to be put in the truck and then again into bed at home?

[CD Bear]

Got back "Home"
Sent "OK. Thanks.
W "We are just sitting down to eat. Mom waited."

Guilt trip?

Sent "OK"

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Got back "Home"
Sent "OK. Thanks.
W "We are just sitting down to eat. Mom waited."

Guilt trip?

Sent "OK"

GOOD JOB.

Puppy

[CD Bear]

Thanks, Puppy.
I was starting to feel pretty alone there for a while.

She should be back in about an hour.

I'm feeling I MUST get a conversation onthe weekend "events" so she knows why it went down like this- because of the alleged affair. Her actions, words and secrecy (as well as the bathing suit and sex supplies) don't add up to a fun birthday Saturday with the girls.

Call her out on the phone and her luggae (still in the truck)

As said before above, if she says No to the transparency,then it's the same as saying YES to the affair.

Then I tell her:
Divorce is my last option. Until you end the affair, this marriage and our daughter has no chance. And I will not agree to a separation or sign anything until it is over.
Until that time, our daughter cannot be around your destructive behaviour so you must leave the family home. Now.

I'll speak with a lawyer in the morning to inquire as to how to insure that your cheques continue to support the family.

Close?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yes, but I would talk to the lawyer BEFORE you confront your wife. It's best to know what your options, strengths, weaknesses and potential vulnerabilities are.

Puppy

[CD Bear]

Really? I mean, I understand but the luggage opportunity disappears.

Perhaps just confront the affair without the "you have to leave" bit.

[CD Bear]

I really think this alleged affair needs to be out in the open as soon as possible. She needs to understand why I was so "short" in my texts today and a "hard-#ss"