I've been reading your posts for many months and haven't posted along with you. Now it's time for me to ante up.
I'm 34 (going on 35) and my STBXH is 30. We have no children.
We met in July 1998, when he was just about to start college and I was just about to finish. We moved in together in May 2002. We moved from an apartment to a house in November 2004. We married in December 2007. He left in April 2009.
For the first 7 months, he told me he "just needed time". Then, on 10/21/09, he emailed me that he "wanted nothing, just out".
We didn't communicate - not a word - for over 2 months. It was during that time that I discovered DB.
He contacted me at the end of December 2009 and I thought he wanted to reconcile. He was "so sorry" and he "love(s)(d) me so much". There was more after that; I won't recap it now. In any case, for a while at least, I thought we had a real chance of making it through this hellhole.
Fake reconciliation nothwithstanding, Mr. A proceeded to file for divorce on 3/15/10. We last saw each other on 5/12/10, in a divorce pretrial conference. We will be divorced this Wednesday, 6/23/10.
I've DB'd my a** off and spent countless days and $$ on phone coaching, individual therapy, relationship books, etc. I thought I was making progress personally, whatever the outcome. Now that we're just a couple of days away from the actual D, I am OUT OF CONTROL. Everything is making me cry. One minute I think I'm feeling truly content and grateful for all of my blessings, and then the next minute I want to move to a cave in Tibet and tell everyone IRL to FO. All I can say is that this sucks.
I still can't believe that Mr. A made this choice for both of us. I mean, I really can't wrap my mind around it. WFT?!?!
So that's my first personal post. I will add more if and when there's more to say. Thanks for reading this far!
