A funny thing I forgot to mention that my W during the R talk actually said "You filed for D". All this time she's been asking for a D but not doing anything about it. I finally filed.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I will start to detach today.... I've gotten careless with my approach. Moving on is the key and see where it takes us. I could see her frustration once she thought I had a significant other. Weird when all this time she has this EA with her boss "Just friends" HAHAHAHA!!!!
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
It's the first time I've cried in awhile tonight. I got home and my W was taking our son to a dinner with her family and stepfather. As I was walking in they were headed out. I gave my son a hug and kiss and they left.
I came in and thought I would have had at least a card from my son. I didn't expect anything from W. It broke my heart to see nothing. I don't know why I got so emotional but it really hurt.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I know it's her... It's just hard..... On Mothers day I took time to make it special for her and my son. We were at each others throats but I made it a nice day for her because of him. It really shows me what I mean to her now.
Actions speak louder than words but I guess I already know that. Tomorrow is a new day.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
We live together still and I'm not sure how I should actually interact with her.
Don't react... pretty much ever ... unless she's running at you with an axe or something.
There's no point in having anymore R discussions, is there? Unless the point is to keep everybody all worked up and stuck in crazy world, there is no point, so just walk away and find something else to do like spending time with your kid, take the dog for a walk, and so on.
Respond respectfully to mundane items.
As bad as things are right now, and as much as you are ready to throw in the towel after all you have been through, you really don't hate this person or you wouldn't be here asking this question.
You don't respect the way they have been acting, and nobody can blame you. In order not to lose all respect for her, you need to minimize all negative interactions.
I am not asking you to be a doormat. Do not be a doormat. Just take the time to walk away from angry words, allow yourself to feel the anger they inspire, and then ask yourself if reacting in anger really serves any purpose.
If she doesn't want to end contact with a third party (EA/PA) and work on the relationship, then you should let her go (and offer to help her pack even), but you don't have to be nasty about it.
It is just something unpleasant that needs doing... like going to the dentist to have your teeth cleaned.
So... minimize contact. Support her efforts to move out if she doesn't want to work on your M, but do not discuss these things at any length. You are done discussing, and now it is all about action.
Keep sentences short and to the point, but be kind and firm. Give yourself as much space away from your wife as you possibly can so you can heal.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
We live together still and I'm not sure how I should actually interact with her.
Don't react... pretty much ever ... unless she's running at you with an axe or something.
There's no point in having anymore R discussions, is there? Unless the point is to keep everybody all worked up and stuck in crazy world, there is no point, so just walk away and find something else to do like spending time with your kid, take the dog for a walk, and so on.
Respond respectfully to mundane items.
As bad as things are right now, and as much as you are ready to throw in the towel after all you have been through, you really don't hate this person or you wouldn't be here asking this question.
You don't respect the way they have been acting, and nobody can blame you. In order not to lose all respect for her, you need to minimize all negative interactions.
I am not asking you to be a doormat. Do not be a doormat. Just take the time to walk away from angry words, allow yourself to feel the anger they inspire, and then ask yourself if reacting in anger really serves any purpose.
If she doesn't want to end contact with a third party (EA/PA) and work on the relationship, then you should let her go (and offer to help her pack even), but you don't have to be nasty about it.
It is just something unpleasant that needs doing... like going to the dentist to have your teeth cleaned.
So... minimize contact. Support her efforts to move out if she doesn't want to work on your M, but do not discuss these things at any length. You are done discussing, and now it is all about action.
Keep sentences short and to the point, but be kind and firm. Give yourself as much space away from your wife as you possibly can so you can heal.
I spoke with wife about removing her from my phone plan. She has finally agreed to transfer herself to a new plan. She is concerned that it's going to cost more. I told her it's not abuot the cost for me it's about moving forward.
Besides this will prvent me from monitoring the phone records, which I need to do for myself. I feel a weight has been lifted off of me. I know they will still talk but at least it won't be something I can check the frequency of.
Next, is working on re-fy of home. The sooner I do that the sooner she can move to her sisters.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
