Now she says 'ok. Let's sign all those papers. I got the "real" pkg so we can fill it out properly. I'll be there at 6"
I said'OK".
HELP please.
Here's what "real" papers can look like: She leaves (b/c YOU are NOT leaving the family home) so she'll have to afford at least a 2br place so she can accommodate Calla. She'll take half of the family assets but she will also take half of the family debt....and you will settle for NOTHING less than a 50/50 on Calla. She can take care of her own phone, clothing, food, whatever - you will afford your household as you already do. "Real" papers won't hurt you a bit.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
CD ~ The point IS that SHE cannot handle the REAL WORLD of what she is proposing by .... "real" papers. That is where the BGPs come in. It can slow her down long enough to really think about what she is doing. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Where did the D pappers come into play am i missing something.
Did you say more to her then you are telling us?
And she will try to call your bluff 100%. She knows you want to save the M, dont back peddle get prepaird for the backlash.
Last edited by twolf; 06/20/1011:50 PM.
Me 37 Waw 32 son2 bomb 8/11/09 O/M 12/25/09 Divorce filed 8/25/09 divorce finale 6/16/10 Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10 Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Re D papers. I'll try to be brief regarding Canada. You have to register "separation" documents and then proceed to actual "desk divorce" in one year. I think we have grounds to "fast track" as we'll both sign that we we haven't shared a marital bed since last August.
Regarding "us", we initially discussed a lawyer-free divorce in keeping with our desire to maximize assets for the benefit of Calla. ie what we don't spend on legal ultimatelt benefits Calla as W and I will have better financial status.
Anyway, I prepared a typed document based on "our discussion" but not only did she question I wrote it but refused to sign saying "we'll use a mediator because they are free". Well, they aren't if you make more than 40K. And the whole topic died. She did in fact have some printed generic separation forms from a couple web sites (Candivorce.com, etc) that I found in the truck but they appear no more useable nor specific as the std gov't form. She doesn't have a clue about what these forms will entail. I have copies and will give a read tomorrow. I'll also talk to Fairway Divorce and a D Lawyer referred by my sister.
She was on the driveway when I pulled up at 5:58. Truck was running. She came to the truck; I handed her Calla's stuff and told her D wanted to use the bathroom. She came in; filled D's juice. She put D in and off they went. No discussion at all.
Not a total surprise as she is off to see her cousins.
My next step is setting the "home time" of 9 so D can be asleep at 9:30 or so. NORMAL.
I don't know what she's gonna do but she'll have to abide or I'll have more text data for the file.
I doubt she'll say anything tonight.
If she does, and I'm prepared for the attack about "my" actions (in order to deflect from the alleged affair Sat).
I'm thinking I should try to put it back onto the events of Saturday night and the "dots that don't line up". If she denies the affair, then I'd like to hear how the dots DO line up. Once I have that, I'll demand that we have a look at the cell phone and perhaps the luggage. (though she'll likely deny or already have" cleaned" them.
Suggestions? I can't really avoid the affair even if I stick to the script. My thoughts are:
Don't want a divorce. Won't be manipulated or rushed. Consider what is BEST for the family (esp D and I) Get back to you with decision.
But NOTHING can happen regarding this marriage, either good or bad, until the affair is over.
