Volare...hey! ohwoh...Cantare, wohwohwohwoh...

[LolaL]

I will have to say, adopting two adorable kittens has definitely helped. We almost lost one to an upper respiratory infection that he contracted from the shelter. $300 later and he is on the mend. It is kind of nice to have a snuggly little kitten curl up under your chin. Of course, it has been so damned hot here that it is really hard to do that all the time...

I am thankful that the SG and I did not have any children together. Although there is part of me that still longs to hear from him, I also know that in the long run, that would not be a good thing. It is better that he does not email me anymore...and that I don't email him. I still dream about him, but I suppose that is normal. Deep down I was hoping that somewhere he would remember what we WERE like and come to his senses. Now that I have realized that the chances of that are so slim you would have to view them under a microscope, it is a little easier to accept. I still loved him, and yes, part of me is having to go through this all over again. I would have liked to have brushed myself off and said Okay thats it I am done. He has moved on permanently, and so it is time for me to move on. But I realize that I am doing this the right way, grieving the loss, the end, and that because I am doing this the right way, I will learn what to do, what not to do, what to watch for, and that way the next relationship I have will have a much better chance of surviving the small stuff than the one I had with SG.

I guess another part of me is greatful that we were only married a short time. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if he had lied to me for 5 or 10 years, and then left me. I can imagine that all of you that have had very long marriages have to survive a lot more pain.

Still, if there is one thing I have gained in all this, it is my independence. I realize that I can do this on my own, even if there were times that were very rocky. I did this. I got through this. I am proud of myself and the strides I have made. I have learned to lean on God when I feel I cannot take another day, and somehow that knowledge brings quite a bit of comfort.

Someday I will meet Mr. Right. I leave that in God's hands. For now, I never thought I would say this, but I kinda like being alone. There are definitely times I get lonely, but not enough that I want to get out there yet. I have tried, and it just doesn't feel right. So I won't, not until the right time comes.