Volare...hey! ohwoh...Cantare, wohwohwohwoh...

[Gardener]

LolaL,

I have taken a few weeks to absorb the fact that the SG got married.

Good for you. I'm sure you needed the time to process - and quite possibly, mourn again. In a different, though no less important way.

After confronting him and really not getting anything other than "I didn't want to hurt you" I realize he probably meant "I wanted to see what else I can get out of you."

Or, more than likely, "I didn't have the manly cajones to tell you."

I can't say that I hurt too much anymore, but I still have the moments. I have begun to realize that I have so much more to be thankful for, and although I knew that all along, I am trying more to focus on that now.

Hooray!

I still think of him every day, and I am not sure why. I think I am angry not that he got married, but that he lied to me. I am not sure if I am being repetitive or not, but don't care because I need to get this out. I feel like he took the option of me withdrawing from him, and moving on, out of my hands by not telling me he was still dating the NW (new wife). I wonder if it was because he thought I would ask my father (x GMAN) to have him deported. I know I am spending too much time on this, but I also know that until I feel like I have turned it over enough, I wont let it go, so its better if I just do it and get it done.

All perfectly understandable. And necessary.

I don't want to be the LBS who stops living because she is so heartbroken. I don't think I am, I mean I have friends, and do stuff. But honestly, right now, I mostly like to be by myself right now. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But I don't really care either.

LolaL, I could've written the above word-for-word. It's not a good thing. It's not a bad thing. It's a LolaL thing. It's what you need.
Bravo for this.

Anyway...moving on, moving forward. Keep trucking...

Amen. The LBS Manifesto!
You sound good.
I'm glad.