Sorry. Just to clarify. H has had two OWs in the last five years, not at the same time. He realized through IC why he was acting out and how wrong and unfair it is to everyone, especially me.

I don't want a divorce so why would I file? That's a bluff I don't have in my hand. I haven't filed because I would lose everything I've worked for. I haven't filed because I know in my heart that H is not an inherently bad person. He is deeply wounded by his upbringing and he is trying to work on himself for the first time since this mess started five years ago. I haven't filed because I still love him.

If I need to go dark, wouldn't it be contradictory to try MC again?

Me - Faithful wife
H - WAH
Bomb: Fall/2009 - PA/EA with OW for 1 year
Both in our early 40's
M - 16 years w/ no kids
T - 21 years
Separated since July of 2008 - H living with his mother