I just got back from picking up the kids at STBX's and she was in top form! The kids hamster died last night so we held a burial in the backyard. I put the hamster in the ground and began filling in the hole and STBX says "after all the work I did on this lawn, now it's a mess" and I replied sarcastically "that darn hamster had to go and die and ruin all your work" D16 says "Mommy, is this really an appropriate time, could you maybe say this stuff later" and STBX says "I think it's an appropriate time" Whew, can't wait to see what she says when I die! Later I had to inform STBX and D13 that I couldn't afford to send her to the camp we'd talked about her going to for a week in the summer. I went over my finances and I'm bleeding every month! STBX says "when the cost was $150 less you said you could do it but now you can't?" (If five kids go the cost is less but three other families bailed). I said "I really wanted to because I know how much D wants to go but in going over my finances, I just can't do it" I also mentioned that the camp doesn't give refunds if the child can't make the week and that concerned me too. STBX continued badgering me "then I guess there is nothing to discuss, you've already made the decision for all of us." Thanks for understanding! I drove D to her gymnastics and felt so bad, I said to D "I'm really sorry you can't go to the camp, I feel really bad. I feel like I've let you down. Summer is supposed to be a fun, special time and but I just can't afford to send you" I was wiping tears away, I felt so sad for her. I'd also told myself when W and I separated that my kids would not suffer because of finances, but I've had braces to pay for, both kids education fund contributions have gone up $200 a month for me, D's gymnastics is going up next year...the costs just keep mounting! Now, this is what my D13 says to me "Daddy, don't worry about it, it's a lot of money, maybe I can go next year but, ya know, I'm still gonna have fun this summer, I have my gymnastics training. It's OK, don't feel bad" What a kid!When I returned I picked up D16 who after saying goodbye to her mom said to me in the car "Daddy, don't ever worry about me having kids, I'm not having any. I don't want to take any chances of turning out like her (STBX)" STBX had been nagging and bitching since I'd left. Jsut for the record, I don't disagree with the things she was bringing up but STBX does so by being in your face and going on and on endlessly, not the best strategy. I said "I understand but your mom had point about X but there's no need to discuss it any further" D says "thank goodness you don't repeat yourself like she does" It was funny, because as we'd left the house STBX says to D "In my life I've learned to thank the people who have been harshest with me" I thought, "I guess that's why you dumped my ass, I tried to be loving!" Happy Father's Day Whatis!
