Live in the Now!!

[BobbiJo]

He texted at 9:30 saying he was coming at ten...we were getting ready to go to church bc we hadn't heard from him.

Then at 10 he said he had forgotten to get the carseats out of truck and into car, was out swapping vehicles at the farm, be there 10:10. So, he got here at 10:20 and church was at 10:15. So, I missed church.

Sigh.......................

[mishka422]

So......why didn't you just go ahead and go to church? Too bad for Dan that he couldn't be a man and be prepared. Sorry.....loser! You are allowing him this behavior BBJ and unless you stop it now it will only get worse.

[BobbiJo]

I know...if I hadn't heard from him we would have gone to church. If he had tried to call or come over while we were gone, too bad. He would have had to wait. However his initial message was he would be here at ten. I live five minutes from church so that was no problem. Even when he said 10:10 I still would have gone and just got there right as they started.

However I don't think it is respectful to walk in ten minutes or fifteen minutes late.

I know he is pushing his own agenda and living in Dan's world where we all accomodate him. I need to make more changes. I have started but I need to keep going. Kind of down about it today bc I feel like I let him "win" again somehow.

Working on my study guide for class. Chapters 1-5 finished by tomorrow and I am only on 2...

[BobbiJo]

Made it halfway through chapter five. Leaving now so Dan doesn't show up with kids before I can get out of the house.

Going to Borders, getting a Latte and looking for a book for my final project in this class.

Too much thinking while studying. Not really thinking, but noticing. Watched a few tv shows I had dvr'd while I worked. One was a commercial for dairies, for the dairy foundation or something. Anyway a little boy about 10 was talking about his future raising cows. How he wanted to grow up and take over the cattle/dairy from his dad. Made me think of Nathan. Even showed the kid and his sister sitting in camp chairs in a big barn somewhere, like the kids and I always went with Dan to livestock shows and fairs. You hang out all day in the show barn, surrounded by hundreds of people with cattle, bedding hay, feed, grooming chutes, fans, etc. I can smell it...I didn't realize how much I missed that stuff.

Then I was watching my favorite show ever Friday Night Lights. One character rents a trailer froma woman whose husband left her and her high school daughter. He came back for a visit (he's a trucker) and the guy character overheard the dad talking on the phone. He had a gf in another state who had a baby by him. He was going to marry her but hadn't even told his wife and daughter about them...

Then another character, a high school kid, missed school to help his dad build fence. Seriously I saw a kid holding a fence stretcher--yes it is a real thing--and remembered Dan redoing his grandma's fence at the farm. I would come out and watch him work and bring him cold water and we would talk. And on and on...because the show is based in Texas there were some atmosphere shots of rolling pasture and cattle, much like when we went to visit Dan's partner/friend Charlie all the time in hill country. Ugh.

So getting out of the house and out of my memories. Thought about going out to see the cows I am sure Dan isn't there as he has the kids and it is rainy/muddy. But that would just make me sadder I think. So going to Borders...

Can you tell I am entering that week of tears some women enjoy? Ugh.........

[BobbiJo]

Wow~amazing what getting out of your house (and out of your own head) can do!

Went up to Borders and got a book to use for my linguistics class book review. "The Mother Tongue-English and How it Got that Way" by Bill Bryson. Covering such topics as "The first descent of the larynx into the throat; or, why you can talk but your dog can't". Also a chapter on "The lost art of swearing." At least I found an interesting book!

Also got a White Chocolate Mocha from their coffee shop. Was in there a few weeks ago to get Journey from Abandonment to Healing and got one for the first time. I saw the barista actually put shaved bits of white chocolate on top, and I was sold! So I got one again this time. I love my Starbucks but I've never seen them do that!

Headed back from Borders (30 min away in Omaha) and decided to run in Target for a couple of things. As I was parking got 4 texts from Dan. [It was 8:15]

Apparently kids had fallen sound asleep at 7:30 and were still asleep. He tried to drop them off at my house but I wasn't home--from the sound of the text he was genuinely surprised I wasn't there or something!?

Then he said that he would not have Nathan's baseball uniform washed by the time he left at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow. Mind you he never told me what was up, and it isn't really my business. I assume a day trip for work. He just said he had a conflict for tomorrow (Monday) night so I said I'd keep them and he could take them next week when I have a work trip.

Anyway then he said his dad would come in at 4:30 to stay with kids until they woke up, then bring them to me. He really must have wanted me to notice the 4:30 part. So naturally I didn't acknowledge it.

I texted back to give them a kiss goodnight for me and left it at that. He sent 4 texts and I sent 1. A little opposite of the old pattern. That is definitely a good thing.

Also good because now that I am back home I can continue on with class work uninterrupted! Although the lightning and thunder on display right now is quite distracting. My windows are rattling, the entire house is vibrating from it...better go round up some flashlights.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey BBJ, sounds like things are going OK and you've got it all under control Love the thunderstorms btw, we haven't had them for a few years here. Ever since I was little I loved the suspense and the sense of adventure with the power going out etc

Oh and I didn't think Iowa had Borders let alone one where they sell latte...that's too Los Angeles LOL j/k

[Virtually_Handsome]

Bryson is hilarious!

I liked "Notes from a Small Island", and "Notes From a Big Country" and "Neither Here nor There". I think "Big Country" was called "I'm a Stranger Here Myself" in the US, but I read it in England. "A Walk in the Woods" is funny too.

[BobbiJo]

Hey BBJ, sounds like things are going OK and you've got it all under control Love the thunderstorms btw, we haven't had them for a few years here. Ever since I was little I loved the suspense and the sense of adventure with the power going out etc

Oh and I didn't think Iowa had Borders let alone one where they sell latte...that's too Los Angeles LOL j/k

You DO remember I used to live in SoCal?? Sierra Madre, between Pasadena and Arcadia. Had a Starbucks within walking distance. Thus started the coffee fixation...actually it started in Boise, ID in 2000 with a little place called Moxie Java.

The Borders, to be fair, is in Nebraska, not Iowa. But there are a few Borders stores in the state, around Des Moines and Cedar Rapids. Not just all silos around here. Got ourselves a real live Mac Donalds right in my little town! It's been here for three years now, big time progress. Still too small for a Taco Bell franchise though.

So just getting ready for bed and heard a sickening, prolonged tree-limb-cracking sound. After the crackling I waited for the huge thud as it took out a fence or the playset or a house...never heard a thud. So either a limb somewhere only cracked part way and hasn't landed yet, or what I don't know.

Oh crap. That was ten minutes ago and I just heard another loud crack. Someboy is losing a big limb out there. I don't have any big trees in my back yard as you know if you saw my pics on FB. However my neighbor to the north has a few gigantic trees that the vultures like to circle and roost in. They would easily take out my fence and possibly the kids' playset. Guess I will solve the mystery when the sun comes up...

[mishka422]

So......is the playset still standing? Where was the tree?

Don't look at it as Dan winning, look at it as you learning a new lesson in dealing with Dan's crap. Every time he pulls this sh!t with you is a BBJ learning lesson. Much better spin on it, right? LOL.

[kat727]

That's right BobbiJo keeps learning from Dan's crap while he continutes to wallow in it!!

I am feeling a bit wicked this morning. sorry.

kat