I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

Last night I went with my friend and had some really good Mexican food- they marinate and grill their meat and it was just so delicious! I had a pomegranate margarita (not that great) and a couple of beers later...I wasn't driving! We just had deja vous of me being single before, spending a night out with her while her H watched the kids! Full circle....strange! But we had fun. After, we went back and just relaxed watching Shutter Island which was a terrible movie! Martin Scorcese directed it? I am shocked!

I told my friend that I will never be able to convince myself that stbxh is a bad person. She said she was just really angry and didn't mean it...she just "pities" him.

What finally came to my head is that I believe he is sabatoging his life! But "there ain't nuthin' I can do about it!"

She asked me about dating...I told her that it is a rollercoaster that one day I think it will help me numb the pain and the next day, the thought of cuddling with a different man on the couch or being intimate makes me feel claustrophobic! She suddenly shuddered and said "I can't imagine being with anyone else except my H. I know what you are talking about!"

We discussed how this emotional bond that we make with our spouses is sooo strong! And I said I don't get how I feel so strong when we weren't married that long. She said that having a child with someone tends to intensify your attachment. I wonder if WN has read anything about this in Helen Fisher?

So I don't want any pressure to move on although it would feel so good if stbxh thought I was dating!!!! But I am just going to go into my cocoon and do my best to detach, damnit!!!

Ok one more thing: this is the email I am going to send to my BUNCO group (made of teachers that I work with):

subject: divorce

Hi ladies,
I am sorry to say that stbxh and I are getting a divorce. I will be keeping my last name but changing to Ms. We have shared custody of S.

I hope you all have a relaxing and fun summer and I can't wait to return to work with you in the fall! Take care,

Newmama

What do you think?