Okay... WAH moved out 2 weeks before Christmas. Despite my attempts to diversify my strategies (seeing a local marriage counselor on my own and now 2 months of DB telecounseling), I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to handle Father's Day with a husband who is distant? WAH took the boys to Minnesota to go fishing with his father. Our sons are twins (10 years old, one with Asperger's/autism) and they are so sad about the pending divorce. My in-laws have told me that they do not want us to be divorced, but that their extended family has decided not to discuss the situation whatsoever. When my Mother-in-law told me this, I told her I understood, but that part of me felt that being silent might be considered as though they were condoning WAH's decision. At any rate, my WAH and sons are driving back to Chicago from their weekend in Minnesota right now. I'm thinking that today of all days might be a good time to greet my hubby with an especially meaningful, yet thought-provoking message. I already got him a card, wrote a short note about the fact that I first fell in love with him the moment I noticed what a great father he would be. In his card I also included Michelle's message about forgiveness. He keeps telling me he can't trust me. I understand his feelings. I brought my credit card up to $20K and justified it by saying that I work full-time and my job requires flights, hotels, rental cars, etc. When my reimbursement would come, I would only pay a portion toward my card and use the remainder for things like our son's eyeglasses, neurologist appointment co-pays, Asperger's child's four daily medications, etc.). We were truly living beyond our means, but not in a glamourous fashion. I can own up to the fact that I was not responsible with my credit card, but am disappointed that he fails to notice how out of touch he was to not realize the amount of money it costs to raise our boys -- especially with the extra expenses incurred with the costs associated with our son's special needs. Is there anyone who can recommend what I should say to my husband? I am a very smart and very passionate person, but I'm always fearful that I'll say the wrong thing. My hubby is very theatrical and tends to over-react to most conversations. I did bake a batch of his favorite cookies this morning and plan to make that my special gift to him. Help! I only have until 7:00 p.m. CST to come up with the perfect Father's Day greeting (or goodbye) for this man that I love more than the day I married him. Thank you! Happy Father's Day to all the dads on the DB forums today!
