I can understand now what your h is trying to figure out. He is truly trying to find the "kid" who had emotional scars inflicted upon him at a very early age. Your h is in many ways reliving the past, but this time, he is the one in the driver's seat, not his parents. If he should hit bottom and seek therapy, it will be a very long haul for him. He's got a lot of demons to deal w.
Yes, you have been given a gift in many ways and it's funny, but I said the same thing to my xh a very long time ago and still continue to look at it that way to this very day. Unfortunately, some of us will have a failed marriage in our lives, but you need to remember, you can only own 50% of the problems and from where I am sitting, you've been very supportive and compassionate to this man.
BTW, I'm glad you were able to spend some time w/your father today. I'm glad you got out of the house for a bit. As for your h, he's still in the land of Oz and will be for quite some time.
Enjoy your summer!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
