She wants to spend her time, money, affection, energy and family resources with another man than she can go.
It really is this plain, CD. She'll want to complicate it and argue grey areas but you really need to grasp the simplicity of these two big rocks - it's THIS or THAT.
Rest. You've acted - you've taken a step. Tomorrow will be here before you know it. Greek
Yep -- "less is more" when it comes to these things. STAY ON SCRIPT, and this is it.
"I will not live in an open marriage; I know all about you and ________, and it needs to stop -- now. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, our marriage, and to our family. I will not allow our daughter to be exposed to it much longer, make no mistake."
When she tries to deflect, COME BACK TO THAT. If she tries to bring up a whole assortment of marital complaints (and she will), own them -- ONCE -- thusly:
"I understand that I've played a role in our marital problems, and I'm more than willing to own up to my half of them. End your affair, and I think you'll find me ready and willing to discuss all issues -- including my own."
or
"I'm willing to own my mistakes, and I'm already working on some things I feel I need to do to improve myself. But inviting a third person into the marriage won't solve anything, and I'm not willing to discuss our marital relationship when one of us has unilaterally decided to invite a third person into the marriage. End your affair, and we can discuss all of this."
When she says something you know for a FACT is a lie, just put up your hand in the "STOP" position and calmly (but firmly) say "Stop it. We both know you're lying to me right now, and it's incredibly disrespectful. This conversation's over until you're ready to speak to me honestly -- I deserve at least that."
