Don't blame, don't be snarky, just go on a fact-finding mission and ask questions, like a reporter.
She may say vague things like, "I feel trapped" or "I hate all the obligations," etc. Ask her HOW she feels trapped and WHAT obligations. Dig deeper. You're trying to get inside her head.
Again, don't judge, don't condemn. She's acting this way for a reason, and you're trying to get to the root of the problem. She may not be able to articulate what the problem IS, may not have the right words for it, but this exercise might give you some insight.
How do you win someone to YOUR way of thinking? By seeing things THEIR way first (Dale Carnegie, "How to Win Friends and Influence People").
NOT WITH AN ADDICT, who is still "using."
Ordinarily, I'd agree, Red, and that book is probably THE most influential book (other than the Bible) I've ever read (first read it when I was 17). But you can't reason with an addict when they're still in contact with the source of their addiction. Ken's wife feels "trapped" and "hates marriage" because she's having an affair, her brain is awash wit PEAs, and she sees her husband as THE main obstacle to getting her fix, unencumbered.
