Busy day, I took down the kids' pool after my class. I had been draining it all day. After I picked them up we came home and I went out to try and force the last 3" of water out. It was 10 feet by 30 inches...couldn't get the last of it out without grabbing and pulling the pool bottom up and over itself. The grass underneath was all filmy and brownish and wet, so gross! Like lettuce that was in the fridge too long. Shudder! So by the time I was done my hands, feet, and pant legs smelled like dead animal. Blech...I am not putting the pool back up. Even with the filter the water got so dirty, I took the filter out today and after just one week, the filter was full of stringy green seaweed-looking stuff.
Anyway Nathan wanted to take my dad out for supper since he and Sydney will be with their Dad on Father's Day Sunday. So I called my mom and set it up to pick her up and drive up to meet my dad after work for dinner at 6:30.
As I am getting in the car I see I have a text from 5:45. It is Dan...
"Your plans for the evening"
Seriously! He does that all the time. Is it a statement, a question, what? I know what he means, what are my plans. But I find it highly annoying. He obviously wanted to do something tonight but I don't know what. Maybe practice baseball. I had also mentioned a month ago that Toy Story 3 came out today and the kids wanted us all to go together. Since then I decided they should go without me as I don't really want to hang out with him. Anyway...
About 6:15 I replied, "Kids and I out for dinner"
He replied back immediately, "Oh, ok"
I said, "This way they can spend all of father's day with you." (Letting him know I plan on him having them that day.)
He replied back "Ok." And a minute later, "I did go and get the grill."
Kids chose his present, they wanted a grill so they could grill out at his house. Considering he got me a $250 fountain I figured I could do it. It was from them after all. Problem is, it wouldn't fit in my car. So I gave him the pick-up slip from Home Depot two weeks ago and told him it was his father's day gift but didn't tell him what it was...the kids asked him Wednesday if he had picked it up yet and he hadn't so he must have just gotten it.
I just sent back "Good hope you like it kids are excited about it." And went out to dinner. Nice to be peaceful.
Kids are ready to settle in and watch Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Christmas" for our Friday night movie.
Hey, that's my viewpoint too. I just have zero interest in trying to be friends with two unrepentant, shameless adulterers. That's just the way it is. They have continually disrespected me, stabbing me in the back all along, and any attempt to extend my hand would only result in being further slimed. Why bother.
Small town, small world...was getting in car at Subway to take kids fishing and who walks up but Dan. He was going in to Subway to get some lunch. He opened Nathan's door to talk to him so I just stayed in the front seat and didn't really say anything. Kids told him they had fun last night with Papa at dinner, they were pretty excited about going fishing.
We went fishing, lost two hooks and a handful of worms to the fishies but none stayed on the hook long enough to get to shore. Jumping in the shower now to get the worm guts out from under my fingernails....I bet that is a real turn-on there isn't it!?
Oh and I posted some pics on FB of my backyard flower garden. It isn't much but I just love it so I wanted to share!
After I didn't pay him special attention when we ran into him at Subway, he texts me two pictures 2 1/2 hours ago. First one he is holding out the camera to show me his face and the front of the grill. Second one a shot of the assembled grill. Guess he wanted me to know he got it assembled.
Now I have a text asking if we caught anything fishing. Well, I guess if you were still part of the family and had gone with us, you'd know jackass...
So, this is what happens when I blow him off, apparently...
I did not acknowledge the text about fishing that he sent at 7:30. At 9:20 the phone rings. Kids are in another room playing so I answered it.
Dan: Hey
Me: Hey
Dan: So are the kids still up?
Me: Yep I will go get them...
Dan: OK I am in the neighborhood I will just come by and say goodnight.
Me: Um... (CLICK! He had already hung up.)
Before I can call back there he is in the driveway. Kids see truck pull up and are excited. So I feel I don't have much choice at that point, I let him in. He wrestled the kids around for a bit, I didn't hang out I was cleaning the kitchen and kept doing so. Then sat down at the table and wrote out a few bills I needed to pay.
Sydney tells him three times to stay here. Persistent little bugger. Then she gets a scarf and ties his leg to her. And says, "Now you can't leave." Nice. I pretend to notice nothing and keep paying bills.
After a few minutes I get up and tell Nathan it is time to get his medicine. Then I tell him and Sydney to brush their teeth. Finally I say, "Time to tell dad goodnight." So they do. I said, "When are you picking them up tomorrow for father's day?"
He gets half out the door and says, "I will call you later and we can talk about it." And he shuts the door before I can answer...
OK time to read a couple bedtime stories to the kids.
I don't know how you do it... you are a strong woman. You handled the Subway stop and the nighttime drop-by amazingly.
Dan & my XH sound a LOT a like.. I suppose it's the Iowa cattleman/farmer thing.
if it is healthy for you that he does that (drops by pretty much on a 2 second notice) then fine. If it's not, then create a boundary.
Yeah, when reality hits them in the face (as the fishing scenario did for Dan) for a split second I think they can see what they did for what it was and the consequences.... and they can't handle the shame.
You sound good...hope you are staying dry? Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
No, not staying dry...more like expecting the ark to show up at any time...
I love storms and last night was a good one, supposed to get some more good ones this afternoon. However was going to use the day to catch up on mowing. We get hard rains, then the next day it is too wet to mow, then a sunny day when I am busy with class/baseball/etc, then rain again. So the yard is getting tall and the grass is thick and green from all the rain. Not going to be fun to mow when I finally get the chance!
So when did Dan let you know about picking the kids up?
Honestly, that man needs a schedule and needs to be forced to stick to it. If he doesn't, he doesn't see the kids. Period. I don't know how you handle him just dropping by without any notice. I didn't handle it well at all when Gabe used to do that. It would send me into an emotional tailspin every time!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
