Not sure which way to go anymore

[Vulcanized]

If there is a change in plans, you can respond w/a simple 'ok'. No need to converse w/H.

[Mystik]

H called to talk to DS, then talked to me about getting off our car insurance policy. It hurts. My dad is over so I'll be back later to post about it. Trying hard to detach and not cry. But it's hard.

[CityGirl]

In NY if you are legally married and both spouses are licensed drivers they must remain on the policy. If you become legally separated you then can drop it down to having your estranged spouse listed as a "non driver" (meaning he won't be driving the vehicle) on the policy. If I understood my attny correctly the only way around this is if the vehicle in question is a company issued car.

This was all very confusing to me when my H and were dissolving things and my attny even had to make a call to be sure he had it right.

My H "took care" of this portion (and I used the term "took care of it" loosely, lol!) but I think I have that right.

[Mystik]

H called to talk to DS, then when the call disconnected he called back, DS refused to answer so I did. H started to ask me about our car insurance, who it was with and when the policy renewed. I told him the company and said the policy renews automatically, I don't know when. Asked if he was going to get his own policy and he said he was thinking about it. I told him that because our names are on one another's cars we have to stay on the same policy.

Not sure what he's going to do, but it hurts to know that he's trying to sever another tie that holds us together. I know, I know. I need to detach and let go. But I never said I would be good at it or do it quickly.

[Mystik]

CG, talked to the insurance company. Even without a legal separation and our names on one another's cars there is nothing to stop him from getting his own policy.

[CityGirl]

Hmmm... I wonder why our insurance company will not allow us to have our own policies? The only thing I can think of is the title of our vehicle is in both our names so maybe that makes the difference? I am going to investigate this further because maybe my H got it wrong (shocker, lol!). Thanks for the info! My H has had several traffic violations since he moved out and I hate that I am still on a policy for a vehicle I have not used for 26 months!

Honestly, it is just an insurance policy and certainly not something that ties you together!

The more you keep telling yourself you are "not good at it" or "it's too hard" the more you will convince yourself of those things.

[Mystik]

Yes, CG, call your insurance carier. And while logically I know it is just a car insurance policy, nothing that legally binds us together. H has no grounds to file on to untie the legal binds. And Lord knows I've complained enough about having to wait on him to pay his share of the car insurance, it is still a shock to have him actually want to separate the policy. It's like he is taking another step farther from me.

[Mystik]

This is all so hard, it's like reality is finally setting in. I'm not supposed to be in this place, we were supposed to be the couple that made it, his brother and SIL were the ones where the family was betting on how long it would last. And now we're the ones split wil his brother and wife are still together. I just can't wrap my mind around it, that this is my life now. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

[Mystik]

It's Father's Day. Hoping my gift of the photo book is well received. Waiting for H to call and set up a time to pick-up DS. Which means I'll have to drive to the exchange place, then home, then this evening drive back out there. Seeing H twice today, which will not be easy.

Not sure what I'm going to do with myself all day, though. Perhaps clear out some space on the DVR, work on a puzzle. Something.

[Mystik]

I can't help but hate the whore. If she wasn't in the picture, if she hadn't gotten pregnant, H would be home right now. She destroyed my family, destroyed our plans for the future. Now I'm the one left to pick up all the pieces and try to put them back together.