question about exposing the OW

[AntoniaB]

Both my H and the OW are educators working in the same building. He tells me that she came to his room twice in the past 2 weeks and kissed him. Not sure what time of day--maybe once no one was around. He has always been home "on time" and hasn't been "out of my sight" for the time he says this affair took place, other than happy hour nights, when many other co-workers were present and he claims they only talked in groups then. The OW walked out on her long-term live-in bf the same day my H did on me. Her bf knows already. I think a few of my H's coworkers know about it but it seems like no one cares. None know me or care about me, and divorce/etc. seems to be rampant with them. I do think that the OW rel. seems to be a symptom of the marital problems, not the cause of the problems, in that he felt detached/lonely and found someone very much like me but younger with whom he feels he can make a fresh start if he abandons all hope with us. He also believes he did something I could never forgive, so why try? I have said that with time and MC I feel I could forgive but he isn't interested in waiting that long only to possibly lose both me AND her. There is such an urgency in him wanting to "explore whether she might be right for him" that I just don't get at all. It makes me think she has given him an ultimatum, leave your wife and come to me now or forget it. In fact he said he felt that once she left her bf "for him" that he felt he had an "obligation" to her because she "gave away so much for him" (what about what I've given for 23 years, guess that is irrelevant). In any case, I told him that I would not sit back while he fooled around on me, nor would I be the one to file for divorce as I do not believe the marriage is over, so I said if he believed he could not stop seeing her that he needed to stop making a fool out of me and file. He says he intends to file.

So that cat is out of the bag. Too late now.

Does that all mean that there is no point to me trying to bust the divorce? Do I expose or is it pointless? Do I just sign the papers and let him go?