My game has changed from WAW to EA/PA HELP!!

[CD Bear]

Thank, 11Cat.
Ironically, I was sitting with her on my lap watching her frst 'fire pit" experience. 10 min later she drifted off.
Just put her in bed.

She usually goes to bed bw 930 and 10

[Greek]

She chooses you she can stay.

She wants to spend her time, money, affection, energy and family resources with another man than she can go.

It really is this plain, CD. She'll want to complicate it and argue grey areas but you really need to grasp the simplicity of these two big rocks - it's THIS or THAT.

Rest. You've acted - you've taken a step. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.
Greek

[CD Bear]

Thank you very much.
i appreciate how simple it is.
And I can't commit either way to the new direction of my life (and find hppiness in whichever), until we break the Limbo Land sitch.
I just worry she'll pick the one that seems easiest being in flight-mode/grass is greener. And that would be such a waste for us and a tragedy for Calla.

[twolf]

Ive heard it all lets go take a lie detecor test, too that meassage was ment for you or your crazy i would not do that to our family.

Just be prepaird for the backlash of her trying to make you sound crazy.

Dont start yelling keep a grip on your emotions speek in a low voice and keep eye contact. My wife started whering sun glasses so i could not look her in the eyes.

She will hug you and kiss you and try to tell you what she thinks you want to hear, Butt be strong dont loose it.Its all part of her script. I didnt have this place when every thing went bad.

You have the upper hand You have people here that heard and seen it all.

Every jorney of a thousand miles begins with a single foot step and you have started it and you are not alone!

[CD Bear]

Thanks.
I'm really hoping to maintain this level of calm in the morning.
Hopefully there will be several more replies to build me up and prepare for the "Father's Day from H@ll"

I'm sure it'll start by text; then phone; then arrival.

unless someone else has other ideas, I'm thinking it has to be face to face. I respond to nothing but her face.

[twolf]

She will bring you a fathers day card and give you a gift and a hug and be sooooo sweet but it will be a smoke screen just get prepaird and she will have a fake script of what she did the night before you will see.

It will be like the Eagles song you cant hide them lying eyes.


Dont begg dont cry and plead if you get mad go for a walk or a drive.

You have to stay strong .....................

[CD Bear]

I'm sure of it.
All I think I'll try to say is "Thank you. I'll have to think about that some more. Shall we have a look at your luggage and cell phone?"

Stay detached. Don't fall for any physical attempts. See her as potentially dirty. And believe nothing. VERIFY!!

If, and only if, she comes out squeaky clean (phone and luggae, too. And perhaps receipts and a call from "Amanda", will my daughter go to her moms for dinner.

[twolf]

I know a guy that took his wifes underwhare and had some sort of seemen test an caught her that way but that is not for the faint of heart.

I just want you to know when you are still very much in love with them you want to belive that they are telling you the truth.

Butt that is what hurt me is thinking maybey im wrong and droping the subject.

I messed up their and I did theLRT for six months and it really fed things up.

[CD Bear]

So, after her last text about whether D was sleeping, not a peep from her all night.

2W, I'm gonna read youre entire thread cause I think there may be more nuggets for me to read. So the LRT (which I've only been attempting for a few weeks) turned things around for you?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She chooses you she can stay.

She wants to spend her time, money, affection, energy and family resources with another man than she can go.

It really is this plain, CD. She'll want to complicate it and argue grey areas but you really need to grasp the simplicity of these two big rocks - it's THIS or THAT.

Rest. You've acted - you've taken a step. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.
Greek

Yep -- "less is more" when it comes to these things. STAY ON SCRIPT, and this is it.

"I will not live in an open marriage; I know all about you and ________, and it needs to stop -- now. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, our marriage, and to our family. I will not allow our daughter to be exposed to it much longer, make no mistake."

When she tries to deflect, COME BACK TO THAT. If she tries to bring up a whole assortment of marital complaints (and she will), own them -- ONCE -- thusly:

"I understand that I've played a role in our marital problems, and I'm more than willing to own up to my half of them. End your affair, and I think you'll find me ready and willing to discuss all issues -- including my own."

or

"I'm willing to own my mistakes, and I'm already working on some things I feel I need to do to improve myself. But inviting a third person into the marriage won't solve anything, and I'm not willing to discuss our marital relationship when one of us has unilaterally decided to invite a third person into the marriage. End your affair, and we can discuss all of this."

When she says something you know for a FACT is a lie, just put up your hand in the "STOP" position and calmly (but firmly) say "Stop it. We both know you're lying to me right now, and it's incredibly disrespectful. This conversation's over until you're ready to speak to me honestly -- I deserve at least that."

And then walk away.

Puppy