Divorce in 1 month Help with exposing please need

[Allen A]

Don't call your wife a prize, my gut tells me she finds that to be objectifying...

WIFE : I am not your prize

YOU : I am fighting for a marriage here, jump in and help anytime...

that may have more impact...

Do not tell her she's a prize... she isn't a trophy in a race man, she's likley taking that as an insult... You aren't fightin fro HER, you are fighting for a MARRIAGE... a FAMILY...

This not about YOU vs OM trying to win your prize wife

THis IS about YOUR FAMILY confronting theat of divorce, hoping to win back a marriage


Its ok to CONFRONT your wife when she crosses a line, but do NOT ARGUE about the point...

You state your point and EXIT... no back and forth debate...

This is what happens :

1. Your wife says something offensive
2. You counter back
3. She makes a nasty crack to insult you
4. You think its a game and start throwing insults back

It just gets WORSE for EACH VOLLEY...

Do this :

1. Your wife says something offensive
2. You state your boundary for what you will tolerate - and you WALK AWAY/HANG UP

That's IT

[Sugar and Spice]

TWolf~

I agree with Allen. Don't engage in her childish games. When she starts to cross the line from conversation to argument or when she starts saying ugly hurtful things just say (or text), "Ok, I'll just talk to you when you feel better." and then be done.

Put the responsibility back on her. If you act like an adult and she acts like a child, then treat her as you would a child. I would go dark and only talk about things you HAVE to talk about - Your Son. Her little world w/OM can't or won't crumble if she has you to vent her anger on or blame when shes in a bad mood. If you are not there, then she and OM will have to live the reality of their R and not the "Camp Snoopy" version.

Like Allen said, don't do the back and forth. Say what you have to say and if she becomes argumentative end the convo. Do not engage in a verbal or text sparring match with her. This ionly justifies her position in her own mind. This will also force OM to deal with her childish behavior. Its cute when it those two against you, but its not going to be quite as fun when that type of nonsense is directed at him. He will probably get tired of it pretty quickly.

[Allen A]

Not to mention she can take nasty texts into a courtroom... you don't want something you said in the heat of the moment coming back to haunt you later

SET an EXAMPLE of adulthood your wife can RESPECT

"I am rubber and you're glue.." doens't quite cut it now does it?

[twolf]

Allen i said the rubber glue thing just to prove a point that she is acting like a child.


She texted earlyer to ask how son was and i texted back fine.

And i was texting a freind aswell and i asked hin i herd you lost your job. I inaverntly replyed it with her text.

She sent me several texts saying who the hell did you here that from who ever told you that is a liar i text her back and told her it was a mistake. And she started textin insults about the stich. I didny even reply.


She has really became a BIT% sence the exposier thing.

Very mean and rude.

I know im done with the back and forth Bs all buisness from her on out.

[twolf]

I wonder if the exposier pushed them closer the way she has been throuing insults and wanting to know who is talking about her and him what do you think...... Allen?

[Allen A]

Exposure will push them closer yes... but it will also force them to BICKER more...

Look at two people having an affair... Shove them in a closet.. YES they are CLOSER, but do you think they arne't gonna start fighting after a while in there?

They will... Being close is fun for a while, but being the town runaround wife won't sit with her well long term.. and she will see the guy she's running around with and lose respect for him... You dont' want to win HER over, you want to win the COMMUNITY over... do that and she will return.. Its the only way for her to get her reputation back...

She will be angry with you for exposing... Children don't like being ratted out either...

And yes I got the sarcasm of the "I'm rubber and you're glue..." but she may not.. Its best to just talk like an adult so she gets the idea that you won't tolerate childish remarks...

I find sarcasm doesn't sink in well with wayward spouses... talking plain and simple like an adult hits home much better

[twolf]

On a diffrent note the cousins wife called me and invited me to go out with them to thank me and apoligize.

[Allen A]

Good... go out and sit with her, educate her a bit... she may help you talk to your wife... she's been there...

[twolf]

Allen ... one more qestion when the stbxw tells me i left you and not our family what should my reply be?

[MrBond]

I am your family.