it is true.. we devoted.. I devoted my heart and soul to this guy. i agree with you glam -- healing takes time and i love what you said that it "Doesn't mean we are stuck". just so hard to believe that i still think about him.
in regards to my d-- yes he does show up like clock work every other weekend - and FOR HER i am very very thankful!! it is important TO HER.. so it is good.
i guess i just pictured that by now i would have been further along. OK that was a lie. i never thought i would stop crying. never thought my heart would literally stop hurting.. .. i guess i thought if those things took place then i would go to the next phase...
and yep.. i pray for him. i pray for his mental health.. his heart.. his soul. i used to pray the "GET HIM GOD" prayers.. dont do that anymore. i actually pray FOR him.... and if you were to read my journals over the past 20 + years you would see that i always have.. he was always depressed or being "pushed" at work.. something......
i hadn't seen him for almost a month but tonight it didn't work out like i had hoped.. but it is ok. as you all know - he is very "nice" and well it is fine.
our anniversary is coming up.. or what would have been..... that is probably knawing at me a bit...........
sorry.. just me being me.. and T - thank you for saying that i "say it well" ........... ha i jsut come on here and talk..... trying so hard not to vent to others .. i use my c .. just well you all know..
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
today was my anniversary. sad - kinda annoyed- yep very...
a good friend though helped kick my out of my almost funk. she said to look at the day - and keep counting the years (the ones of loss) isn't giving God much honor - she said STOP looking back and LOOK forward to the promise land!
She reminded me of all the wonderful blessings that HAVE come to my life over the past few years. GOD has been faithful. Is my marriage back? NO - but there is MORE to my story than that... I have been blessed - I have been and am being healed!!!
Does the day - the date stink?!! YEP! it is the truth.
But there is tomorrow - I CAN Forge AHEAD - and will!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Happy Anniversary You can still celebrate what was and what is yet to come. You are amazing and have grown so much. Some days are hard, but we learn to get through them. Don't you wonder what our ex's think (if they do) about these days. Does their heart ache with pain or regret? I wonder if we will ever know?
It is weird, but despite everything, I still cherish the memories with ex of the good times and the special days. I am lucky that I had those times. Who knows what the future will bring.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
there is someone that was interested/is interseted in me. i did kiss him (pretty passionately ha!) but thats all. Afterwards I was like.. oh crap and such. Just wishing I hadn't cause I don't really have any attraction to him. But anyway... i was/am just angry with myself.
Just can't believe where my heart still is and stuff. just gets frustrating.....
i am moving on.. i just still don't like it.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Cagz, It all takes time Cagz. You probably are not ready for any dating. You have to heal first. It is hard to become attracted to anyone when your ex is still in your heart.
Don't worry, it gets better....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
