Wow. Today was interesting. Couldnt sleep much after the explosion yesterday, mulling over lots of things, so after tossing and turning for the better part of an hour, I finally got up around 6:30, which is amazing for me to do on a weekend!
Started around the house gathering stuff and went over to my new place to clean, move new fridge in, wipe it out and disenfect, picked up used dishwasher, pressure washed front of house, met a buddy that does remodeling work to see what he could help out with ( he's also on the verge of a relationship breakup after 9 years )he was gonna talk to his Dad about a whole kitchens worth of cabinetry they have in their basement that he might be able to give me for free.
Got a call from the WAW around 2pm and she was talking completely NORMAL! As if she hadnt even had the screaming, ranting out burst towards me just 24 hours earlier. Polite, "soft" , please and thank you,etc. No apology though, but I'll take what I can get. She asked me to pick up the kids tonite instead of her dropping them off as originally planned, said she didnt feel good and supposedly had a seizure last night.
Now she's back to wanting to talk again, admitted she would appreciate my help but is scared Im going to screw her somehow, asked me to take our two kids an extra week in the beginning of July so she can co ordinate having our two kids and their two kids on the same every other week schedule.
Agreed to attend DD's counseling sessions.
Its funny cause I had been thinking all day about a theory that seems to fit the situation VERY WELL, one suggested by her uncle.
I dont know if I'll EVER learn the truth though it would be nice. But I think whats happened is we were having our problems to be sure and alot of them were caused by me, so she starts bending the EX's ear about [censored], how frustrated and unhappy she is, etc sometime back in March or early April. As predicted he smelled the vulnerability a mile away and concocted a plan, either on his own or in colusion with his Mother to agree that they would regain custody of their twins if they reunited. Then I got struck with a World Class case of Dumb Guy Disease and said something really stupid that drove her over the edge and right to him. I dont think she ever really thouhgt I would fight for the kids and for our family.
She convinced herself somehow that because of my withdrawl I really didnt "want" the kids or a family ( my read not her words, but she did say something similar) and thought she would jump ship and I would walk. When she realized I was not only changing but at the very least she would have to share custody, it tossed a huge monkey wrench in her carefully laid fantasy and pissed her off, for many different reasons. Some valid, many irrational.
Thus started the campaign of lashing out, false allegations, etc. ANYTHING to try to drive me away, get me out of the picture, assuage her guilt, whatever, while playing the part of a "hurt but desiring friendship WAW"
This both the worst scenario I can think of and in someways a good one. Worst in that I have NO doubt she would go to almost any lengths, without necessarily thinking of the consequences, including psych damage to DD, to be reunited with her twins. If my theory is correct, a lot of things suddenly snap into focus. But I seriously doubt no matter what happens she will NOT remove herself from that situation and return to our family as long as the twins are there, at least until they turn 18 in 3 years. But who knows, she might suprise me. He cant be making all that much if she needs my help to insure her truck, and she asked me to keep her cell phone on.
Somewhat positive only in that as I concluded a while ago, once the twins are 18, WAW and EX really have nothing keeping them together, while WAW and I will be parents to a 9 year old and a 3 year old.
Funny, I was thinking earlier of coming to the board and asking for opinions about an idea I had to possibly speak to him 1 on 1, politely of course, but pointing out that for whatever reasons, things just didnt work out for them and as a result his daughters have significant mental issues that they get counseling for, pointing out that he now had a wonderful opportunity to make sure that 2 more innocent children ( including a baby ) didnt suffer the same damage that his kids did, maybe trying to appeal to a sense of " duty " or doing the right thing or atonement or something ?? And also pointing out that NO MATTER WHAT, I would NEVER stop fighting to restore my family, maybe plant a seed of doubt in his mind, keep him wondering about things we talk about, get the tension level up for him, etc ?
NO idea how it would be received though, either by him and most certainly by WAW. I mean, Im not the least bit afraid of the guy. He's a little taller then me, but I have at least 20lbs on him and a smattering of MMA skills. I would have NO problem absolutley destroying him without mercy if he came at me. Then again, I could always let him take his shots and then laugh when he was arrested for assault.
She's still talking about the kids going to school from that location in the fall though, which says something about her current mindset, but another good little tidbit I discovered is we both live in the same school district, which should make things easier for me to argue for letting DD stay at my place more among other things.
I think right now Im really hoping that attending DD's counseling sessions will help to start draw WAW out, acknowledge things and maybe take babysteps towards starting over. Still gonna be a LONG haul though, a year at least Im guessing. But if things go smoothly over the summer ( as smooth as they can given the circumstances that is ) DS birthday is Ooct 15th, then Halloween , which she already said we would do together. Right after that theres a place one State over that we've been past a million times , National Christmas Museum and Store or something like that ( WAW is a certified Xmas junky ) so I had already been planning if things were going well to invite her to a day trip to it, on me. Im fairly confident if things are ok then that she will be not able to resist the offer. I doubt that one thing will set the hook so to speak, but hopefully she'll at least be nibbling on the bait by then.
