She is trying to be single without the costs. She is "cake eating" as is so commanly mentioned in other threads.
So quantify the costs that are wayward-/affair-related, and let her know you'll no longer pay for those items. For me, it was her cellphone, tummy-tuck credit card payments, hair coloring, lingerie -- anything she was using to make herself more attractive for another man and not her husband.
What are your financial arrangements currently? Who pays for what? Who paid for the bathing suit? The sex toy(s)?
