What she's doing on her own is none of your damned business, and you don't have any right getting all pissy because she is possibly making plans through a dating site or with an OM. You've got your own TM scenario's that you like to play around with, so there is a bit of hypocrisy there.
That's occured to me already, took a few minutes, but you're absoltely right. I didn't say anything here to her, because - well - you're right, it's not my business, and the first thing that clicked into place when I DID thing about, how would that conversation go, was - what would I say on the other end. That - issue - quickly turned into vapor in my mind as something to let sit with me. Let it go.
Originally Posted By: Bworl
The thing that pisses me off about you the most is this... You actually have a shot at one day having a restored marriage with a woman that you are clearly still in love with. But you can't get past your hurt and betrayal long enough to give it a chance. You just HAVE to get your little dig back at her. Then you come here and pontificate the great mysteries...
Fair enough. Honestly, I post a lot of stuff here that I think and feel at the moment, and it doesn't make a lot of consistant sense. To me. Kind of tired of hearing myself. I've considered just to stop posting because I'm not doing anything consistantly and I'm not changing my behavior and it's become an outlet in engaging in - what - self-pity? no - senseless thinking. Maybe it hurts more then helps. Compulsive - pontification? lol - maybe.
Originally Posted By: newmama
But here is what is happening: your stbxw doesn't know what she wants, she is all over the place, sending mixed signals, and DB strategy or not- the way to deal with someone who is tossing us around like that is a 180 or NC.
I'm not really DBing; I'm really not doing anything with consistancy.
Originally Posted By: whatisis
Yet, with any strategy you have to have a goal, I don't think Geronimo has one yet. Do you want to build a co-parenting approach with ex or do you want to continue trying to save your M. Neither is wrong but you have to know what you want! I don't think either party here does, so best to sit back and regroup for a bit.
Yes, that is my problem. I'm thrashing around. Bill and everyone else, I'm perfectly aware that I sound like an idiot. I let my emotions drive my actions, and maybe because we've signed the papers I think that it doesn't matter what I do.
I'll say this - I'm frustrated because I imagine myself to be more mature and smarter than this. I don't know guys. I'm sorry if you've gotten invested in giving advice and have gotten frustrated. Tell me I'm not handling this particularly well? Gotcha.
Originally Posted By: newmama
Now let us know how the tribute band was.
Ha. Never got there. Got off the highway early, went somewhere else, and you know where, and I guess that's all I'll say because it's the same old s#!t. She cried, and I held her, and we talked for a couple hours. Yeah. She still loves me. I still love her. It sucks. I'm not going to say something stupid like "I can't stop myself." I DON'T stop myself. Until I get mad that this is going to keep me stuck, and I don't want to feel this, and then yep, I send out the barbs. And the the cycle repeats.
Hah - Bill it's not a matter of I can't handle it, it's a matter that I'm not handling it. Creating my own problems.
