Well, I'm seeing all the indicators but no matter how slim, there is a chance that these dots don't line up exactly as it appears. So I have a hesitation that if I "cry wolf" I'll only embarass my self and make my position weaker. If it is an affair, though it's closer to deal breakerthan EA, I'll then have a W with a lot more guuilt and work to do when the A goes sideways, as they invariably do. I'll add to the pressure this week by using the time to get legal advice and "make the appointments' or 'get the paper' ready and present it as 'I am now done'. If Option A is no longer available and she sees the actual cost to this in real terms, SHE will feel the pressure rather than me. And I need to know that something is happening.
Either we are moving forward with the separation/divorce so I can get moving on my life without worrying that she is continuing to erode us financially; we continue to wait it out with CLEAR boundaries and protections established for D and I; along with actionable consequences for crossing a boundary; or, she sees a chance and 'legally' commits to working on this.
In any caase, the boundaries and protections need to be established so that MY exit position doesn't deterorate at her benefit. She is trying to be single without the costs. She is "cake eating" as is so commanly mentioned in other threads.
